These funny tweets, Tumblr posts and things I've written myself will hopefully make your day a little better. It's that time of the month when I usually want to stab someone, but I'm somehow in a good mood, so I hope I make you smile even a little. Seriously, you've probably dumped your bag in the corner of your room, wolfed down your lunch and kicked your shoes halfway across the house. Aka you've probably just come home from school, gone on Wattpad and seen this update. Well I hope I can make you laugh or smile just a bit :)
*cough* I think I've been possessed, this isn't the normal Derpina.
Someone, spray me with holy water and chant "the power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you!"
Anyway, fluffy and cute stuff aside.
Listen to the song in the YouTube box >:D
Funny tweets :D
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*holding phone in hand* where the fuck is my phone
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cute person: hi
me: is this some kind of sick joke?
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Girls on Periods - I'm fine. I hate you. I love you. I want ice cream. Come here. Get away. You're cute. Fuck off. Fuck that. Fuck this.
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Imagine Alicia keys complaining in a super market... "THIS MILK IS EXPIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEEDD"
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When you hear people speak in another language: 1% I wish I could speak that. 99% Those bitches better not be talking about me
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Every teacher before drawing something: "I'm not an artist."
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That awkward moment when you're laughing so hard in class the teacher stops the class and looks at you
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"Potassium" is a much better response than "k".
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walk into school like whaddup I wanna die...
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ed sheeran
ed sheewalked
ed sheetrotted
ed sheesprinted
ed sheejoggedmoderatelyfast
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scientist: on average teenagers go on the internet 16 hours a week
me: you mean per day
scientist: what
me: what
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Ppl 50 years from now will be like 'they had polar ice caps back then. They had trees. They were so lucky'
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Can we like genetically modify mosquitoes so they suck fat instead of blood like is there a scientist reading this can u do that?
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YOU ARE READING
My Unorthodox Opinion - a collection of sarcastic rants about life
Non-Fictionlmao I wrote most of this in like 2013 so I can't be held to account for any of it anymore, I'll probably take it down soon since it's just embarrassing ok thanks
