My Unorthodox Opinion - a collection of sarcastic rants about life

What it's like

This chapter is dedicated to every guy and every girl under the age of 12 out there.

This is a Tumblr post I found, explaining what it’s like on your period. And It’s a detailed, accurate description.

“Well this is an interesting question.

Let me break it down for you.

You start getting cramps. Not like the kinda bad normal cramps, it’s “HOLY FUCK SHOOT ME I WANT TO CURL UP IN A BALL AND DIE I HATE MY LIFE” cramps.

You also get back pain. It’s not the worst, but it’s just extremely uncomfortable and not fun to sleep with.

Blood also pours out of your vagina. And I’m not exaggerating when I say pour. Stand up, Niagara Falls coming out of a hole in your body. Cough, Niagara Falls. Sneeze, Niagara Falls. Breath, Niagara Falls.

You also have to deal with the paranoia everyone will see because it soaked through your pants. To avoid this from happening, you either have to wear a diaper-type thing or shove something up your vagina and leave it there for hours. It doesn’t feel good either. You still get the paranoia that comes along with it as well.

On top of it all, you’re always angry, horny, depressed, hungry and in extreme pain all the time. And when you’re on your period, it’s the anger that you want to stab someone. Horny horny. You want to either die or eat everything in sight.

Annnnd we have to do this for a week straight.

That a good enough explanation?”

Girls, you can relate. Unless you’re under 12. Then you can’t relate. Sorry.

Unfortunately – for you – I am one of the few lucky bitches around who doesn’t get back pain and cramps. Although, yes, I do want to stab every human being on Earth and eat half a chocolate factory, but that happens anyway.

Hope this answers everyone’s questions.

Adios, bitches.