never

Do you care?

I woke up and groaned my stomach and back on fire, I laid back down and sighed comfortable. I looked around to see I was back in my room and sighed again I'm safe. I remember Chris and his promise to keep me from going back and I smiled, he cares somebody actually doesn't want to see me hurt. I heard the door open and Kimberly came in "Is that what it was always like" she asked and I nodded in response not yet knowing what to make of this conversation. She nodded sitting in a nearby chair "I'm going to say this one more time... Stay away from Chris while you've been gone he's needed someone to fill your spot he hasn't come around yet but he will" I shook my head "That's not my decision" she grabbed my throat and squeezed cutting off my airway. She put a hand on my stomach and I screamed out. She pulled her hand away and pulled up my shirt "What did they do to you" I stood and pulled up my shirt turning so she could see the multiple gashes going up and down my back and stomach. The only reason I still live is because he closed the wounds after making them. She covered her mouth in shock and I laid back down "I didn't know" I didn't care if she knew or not I just wanted her to leave. Chris came rushing in walking over to me "What happened are you OK I heard your scream" Kimberly looked down guiltily and I looked at her. What do I say? Chris looked between us and turned to Kimberly "What happened" his voice dangerously low, for some reason even though that should be scary to me but it was actually kind of attractive. She cleared her throat and breathed out shakily "I touched her stomach accidentally I didn't know she had injuries on her stomach" he looked at me wondering if she was telling the truth and she was. Half-hearted truth but a truth nonetheless, I nodded and he sighed "Well now you know now get out!!" she ran off and I sighed glad she's gone. He turned to me sitting in the chair next to me and grabbing my hand. He placed his fingers with mine rubbing a little "Is this real" I whispered "What do you mean" I shrugged sitting up a little "Am I really special... The girls said you treat me this way because I'm special to you but I've never been special to anyone just the garbage they leave in the basement so... Why is it different with you" he put a finger under my chin and made me look at him. He stroked my cheek a little and I leaned into his touch "I'm not them I will never treat you like they did no one else will ever treat you that way..." I frowned "Why am I so special to you" he looked away and said nothing giving me my answer. I'm not, he's just saying and doing this to make me feel better I laughed humorlessly the gesture would be nice but it's not real "Thanks I guess for letting me know the truth" he frowned "You know... That you're just trying to make me feel better about myself... We both know I'm not really special" he pulled at his hair and groaned standing up. He was mumbling under his breath "You don't get it I.... I... I'm gonna go check on some business stuff just stay here" he left and I was the most confused I've ever been. What? What's he talking about? What don't I understand? After a while I got up and I sat in the window seat. Nita and Shay visited later on checking on their wounded bird. As we talked I could see it the pity in their eyes eventually they came over sitting next to me. I told them all about the conversation me and Chris had. Nita growled hitting her head up against the wall. Shay laughed "He's ridiculous text your boyfriend this is ridiculous" Nita pulled out her phone and texted Tyga. He came a little bit after kissing Nita on the cheek. They whispered about something I couldn't understand they kept looking back at me and smiling. I was unsure of what was going on when Shay distracted me "Are you OK" she said softly "I'm OK hey what happened to Elena and Kat" she gave me a sad look "August was on patrol the night you were taken so in order for that guy to get in he had to get past him. August got shot" I stood up walking away from her. Another thing I'm responsible for. Elena will never speak to me knowing I'm the reason her boyfriend got hurt. I turned to Shay "Can you take me to her" she looked unsure about it but we did it nonetheless. Elena sat at his bedside, she looked tired and stressed "I'm so so sorry it's all my fault he wouldn't have come here if not for me" she smiled a little and walked over to me "You're right it is your fault he's there" I flinched when spoke them she raised her hand and I closed my eyes only for her to grab my shoulder and laugh a little. I frowned "I'm joking you really thought I was mad at you Maris this is not your fault you didn't ask to be taken they just did and that's who I'm mad at" I smiled and hugged her she hugged me back but made sure to avoid my scars. We let go and I turned to see Chris in the doorway. He looked at me and looked away walking past me to August. I bit my lip and walked out, why is he mad at me? What did I do? I felt like crying again but I wouldn't. No more tears. I cry too much for no reason I'm done. I'm stronger than this and I won't cry. No more tears. I went up to my room I slammed the door and threw a pillow across the room. Stupid. I don't even know why I care so much. It's an easy thing to answer but it's so stupid. To like someone who doesn't like you back. I laid on my bed in a ball and tried to sleep. I won't cry no, not over him. I won't.