never

Damaged

Why is it that Vince is the person Danny wants me with? Why can't he want me with Mike? I mean Mike is way older but he's less annoying. Vince couldn't help but be his normal asshole self and I couldn't wait to get away and finally be able to kill him. Currently I was zoning out of a conversation about his past girlfriends something about I should know what I'm getting into. He nudged me and I looked over at him tuning back in "Are you gonna tell me about your past at all" I frowned, the only people who know about my past is Danny. Everyone else just knows bits and pieces "No" he frowned "I've just spent a good half hour ranting to you about my dirty laundry do I not get the same courtesy flower" I rolled my eyes inwardly but on the outside I only sighed. You want to know about my past. Fine maybe a story about his men and how they've treated me will soften his heart. He grabbed my hand and rubbed it "However I suppose I shouldn't force it" I repressed the urge to gag and spoke "I don't remember anything about my life before this and whether or not I had any boyfriends but what I do know is that the entire time I was kept in that place all they did was abuse me.... When they weren't raping me they were beating me... They beat my first child out of me and left me a broken scared shell... Then Chris came and changed my outlook on everything I couldn't explain the joy I felt being with him.... Then he turned on me and did the one thing he said he wouldn't he hurt me... But by that time I had met Liam... I married him and I was pregnant with his child.... Liam showed me how to live a normal life and for the smallest moment I thought I'd be able to keep it that way then I took a call from Chris which turned into a meeting... His jealous bitch of an ex girlfriend gave me back to my captors even though I was pregnant... Determined not to lose another baby I escaped but the fates would never be so kind... They came back for me killing my husband and my baby I lost everything my job...  My family ... I was devastated still am they will always live on in my heart.... After that I came in determined to get answers for the senseless murder of my family and Danny said he wouldn't give me what I wanted unless I proved loyal so here I am the angry assassin sitting with you listening to you babble about relationships that never lasted and never meant anything" I said my anger getting the best of me. He sat in silence his hand still laced with mine fingers grazing my knuckles. He was trying to comfort me and the sheer effort softened be and I signed "Sorry I tend to get emotional when I talk about my past" he shrugged "It doesn't matter none of that hurt matters because as long as I'm here you'll be fine...I'll be here for you whether or not you need it" I smiled in spite of my stomach turning and hugged him. No one in this God forsaken gang will ever be worthy to me. The closest is Mike but even he isn't a saint. I'm sure if he hadn't known me it'd be day one all over again. The cruel jokes and the harsh living arrangement. Vince pulled my face up to meet his "Maris look at me I promise" I shook him off "Do you know how many people promised me I wouldn't get hurt a lot and those very same people hurt me I have no intention on taking your word for it" he chuckled "You confuse me being there for you as me protecting you I thought it was clear according to your occupation that you don't need protection" I smiled but it disappeared as soon as it appeared I don't have time to befriend him. This can't get any deeper than it is our this could get messy. The blood assassin doesn't do messy. When we got back Vince stopped me from going in "Forgetting something" he said looking down at me dreami... Patronizing me. I shook him off and crossed my arms "After all this time you still fail to figure it out I'm different I want someone to work hard and then take me" he smirked pulling me to him my heartbeat involuntarily speeding up. I pushed him off "Are you sure you want to take it because I think we can both agree that the work it took to get us this far should count. He was right it should but I can't afford to get into anything with anyone while undercover that ends badly. However Danny ordered it. Wait he said get close not engaged. I don't really remember what he said I know is it involved me lowering my guards to Vince. I should've known that once he was in it would plague my mind like it was the 1700s. I was at a complete loss for words and he relished in it "Have I truly caught you off guard princess? Have I finally gotten to you darling? Is my life long quest for your unattainable heart finally proving to be possible at least for me?" I couldn't show weakness or he'd destroy me "I'm not intimidated by you Vince I can take anything you dish out... In fact I'm almost positive I'd break you just leave it at the fact that there are some things you're just not ready for and me is 9 of them" he growled lowly "Is that a promise don't make this easy love I enjoy a challenge" he stole a kiss on my cheek and walked away. There is nothing else to be said about what's going on between us. He's a means to an end. As soon as night fell and I was sure everyone sleep I snuck away to one of the warehouses ruining the call tower nearby shutting down the security sensors and cameras. Once that was off I used my silencer to kill every last one of the guards and started a electric fire. They won't be able to track any of this and the police won't be involved either. I slipped back into the house coming across Vince in the kitchen. He frowned "What are you doing up and in your battle suit" I shrugged "Training I couldn't sleep.... Too much on my mind" leaving room for him to assume it was about us. He took the bait like a sea bass waiting to be caught. Before he could utter any thing more I walked out swaying my hips distracting him further from my absence. I left not noticing the strange look he gave me when I did leave. I hope he doesn't figure it out Vince however annoying, an amazing detective. I don't know what will become of me if he knows it's me, the traitor.