never

I like you

I woke up and pulled my legs into my chest. I looked over at the picture frame on the shelf and saw it was empty. Nothing in it because I don't have anything of my past except fragments of memories. The only clear going about my past is a song my mom used to sing to me. I sung it softly to myself thinking about what she could've been like. I don't know who I am and I really wish I did. The door opened and I stopped singing then Chris came in. I frowned and rolled my eyes "What is it you want" he looked surprised and to be honest I surprised myself. But I was upset with him, I don't get him and he won't over any explanation for anything. He walked over and sat next to me "You have a nice voice" I raised an eyebrow at him "Thanks" he sighed and reached out for me I shrunk away from him and he put his hand down. He opened his mouth to say something at the same time as I did. I closed my mouth and he opened his mouth only to close it again "Look I know I'm not the easiest to work with but Mari I'm trying my best to show you what you mean to be" his words but surprised me continued to feel like lies. I shook my head "Chris you and I both know that you haven't because I can't tell... What do I mean to you" he looked at me with a look that said he was contemplating what to do next. He bit his lip and pulled me into his lap carefully. My back and stomach still hurt but he didn't hurt me. I kept my gaze on the ground but he put a finger under my chin "Maris. .." I tried to control my breathing as he got closer "I think your beautiful and I think you have a lot more to show everyone than this broken shell" I smiled and giggled a little at him. I wanted to do something then but I was still afraid to. Then I thought that I've been afraid of a lot and I've gotten through a lot. Rejection isn't the end of the world. I held his face in my hands and I kissed him. He didn't respond at first and I almost pulled away when he kissed me back. His hands slid down my waist and pulled me closer. My hands moved from his face to his short curls pulling slightly. He groaned and bit my lip and slipped his tongue in my mouth. We fought for dominance and of course he won exploring every inch of my mouth. I moaned into the kiss his hands slipping under my sweater only to touch my bandages. He pulled away and I pouted "So... All the guys are flying home for the holidays I was wondering if you'd wanna come with me to my home" I smiled "I mean since you would be here alone I just thought you'd rather come with me" I pecked his lips and giggled a little "Of course I'll go with you" he laughed a little and put his forehead on mine. We stayed like for a little before Shay opened the door. She looked between us and turned to leave before I stopped her "Wait what's up Shay" she bit get lip and attempted to stop the smile crawling on her face "Nothing me and the girls were just playing uno and wondered if you wanted to play" I looked at Chris and he gave me a look that said stay and I looked back at her. She nodded understanding and leaving us to laugh. We turned on my TV and sat in front of it. He sat on the bench and I say criss cross on the floor in between his legs. We played a round of Mortal Kombat. I beat him twice and he looked down at me "You played this before?!" he said making me laugh "No I promise... Maybe you just can't play" he threw his controller and pulled me up on the bed tickling me. It stung but not enough to make me stop. He lightly bit my nose and held my hands above my head "Apologize" he said sternly "No" he put his forehead on mine making his eyes look funny "Say it say you're sorry" I laughed more "Never" I flipped us surprising myself "I'm the boss here" I said triumphantly, he sat up and tickled me some more making me bend backwards. Apparently I'm flexible because I bent far enough to see Kimberly at the door glaring at me. I sat up and slid off his lap "Trey sent me to come get you something about business" he sighed and looked at me apologetically. I smiled in return and he left but not before telling Kimberly to be nice. She slammed the door and crossed her arms "So I see you've made it official... You're together now" I shrugged, Chris and I never labeled what we were and I wasn't gonna press him to. I was thankful just to know there was someone who wanted me even in the tiniest way. Kimberly looked down and tried to hide her tears "You really like him?" I whispered feeling a little pity towards her "Like him huh try love... I've been in love with him forever we've been in a on and off relationship since he started this gang I haven't nor will I ever leave... He's always come back to me and the crew had always welcomed me with open arms but after I cheated they stopped... He stopped... I've been trying so hard to get back what we had but he won't give me the time of day because you're clouding his brain... That's why I hate you... I envy you... You've managed to take something that matters most to me and part of me thinks you deserve it more than I do... Excuse me" she ran out leaving me to my thoughts. I feel bad about how her relationship with Chris ended but I won't step out the way for her either. I've been denied a lot of things but I won't be denied him. I went downstairs and spent the rest of the day with the girls since we'll be out for the holidays. Today has to be the first day I've spent most of it smiling. That I can truly say I've got friends.