never

I'm Sorry

I woke up Nita sleeping in the bed next to me. She was sweet to put let me stay in here and cry. I pulled out my phone and saw it was 4:36 in the morning. I sighed walking downstairs and making some cereal. Kimberly was sitting at the dining room table reading a magazine looking at me for second then looking away. I rolled my eyes "You can stop hating me whenever you're ready I don't want Chris anymore" she frowned putting the magazine down and sitting in front of me. I told her what happened and she rolled her eyes "Don't make the same mistake I did Chris is a good man he's just insecure" I shrugged, I don't care at what he is anymore. He basically called me a whore for being raped by all those men. I cannot forgive him just like that for something so treacherous. Kimberly got up and left me alone and I relished in the silence. If this is how he's gonna handle things with me use my fear to stand up to him against me. I'll just end it now. Speaking of Chris came running down the steps calming when he saw me at the table "I thought you'd left" I want to, I thought "No" I said being short with him "What's wrong baby... Did Kimberly say more stuff to you" I scowled and ignored his questions. How dare he ask what's wrong when he knows what he said. He pulled me out of my seat and pulled into him. I smacked him and backed up "No" I said watching Shay peak from the around the corne. I have her the signal that it was ok having her walk in "Is everything OK" I shook my head and moved to walk out but he grabbed me pulled me into him again "Don't leave! If you do I'll find you" he said dangerously low I faced him but instantly lost my nerve seeing how angry he was. His grip tightened on my arm and I winced "Go upstairs and wait for me" my lip quivered and I nodded going upstairs. I locked my door laying in the floor crying my eyes out. I thought he was different than the other men but he's the same. I looked over at my arm to see it turning red. His first mark, I thought. My tears came down uncontrollably and the door knob jiggled meaning he was trying to get in. I shrunk into a corner feeling like it was deja vu. It stopped and I sighed only to hear keys minutes later. He stormed in finding me in the corner. He stomped over and I squealed pushing myself deeper into the corner. He stopped and I shook violently afraid of him. His face softened and he reached out to me only for me flinch when he raised his hand. He picked me up and put me down in his lap. I squirmed and crawled out of his arms and on the other side of the bed. More tears slipped down my face "Mari... I'm sorry it's just the idea of you talking to someone who isn't me or the guys makes me mad because you mean so much to me I don't wanna lose you" I ignored him trying to control my shaking and my crying. It was OK. I chanted to myself failing miserably to stop. He grabbed my hand and rubbed it softly "I'm sorry I promise I won't hurt you" I spin around and shops him my arm which was a deep red now bruising. He swallowed and I pulled my hand away "I'm leaving I need out" I whisper pulling myself off the bed "Ok you can sleep on your own of that's what you want" I shook my head "No I want to leave... I need space a lot of it I need out of this house" I say shaking with every breath. I moved toward my dresser and put everything in my suitcase and walked to the door. He ran in front of it and stopped me "Wait" I prepared to hear more about how he cares about me but instead he kissed me. He kissed me softly I could've pulled away he wasn't holding me tight enough. However this is a goodbye kiss and I let him have it. I pulled away "I'm sorry" I whisper running out and texting Liam. I told him that I would be at the mall and that I had nowhere to go and he said he would be there soon. This is good for us. Chris and I need this space and I need time I can't get over how afraid I was of him. He drove up to the place giving me a once over. I was still in my pajamas and my bruised arm was very visible in this light. Liam pulled me in his arms and gave me a hug as I broke down. He rocked side to side letting the rain pour down on us. I never cried so much before I was distraught. How could I have been so stupid to think that things would end well for me and Chris? Liam held my hand while we drove rubbing circles on the back of my hand strangely calming and eventually I fell asleep. When I woke up to see I was in a room I had been changed and dried I frowned and stood up. A woman in a maid's outfit came in smiling "Ah your awake don't worry he didn't change you, I did but he did carry you up here" I smiled and breathed out relieved "Thank you" she looked outside checking if anyone was listening then came closer "Who scarred you like that child" I looked away not wanting to relive any of my past "I will tell you one day but for now can you take me to Liam" she nodded pulling me downstairs into the kitchen where pancakes, waffles, eggs and bacon day waiting for me. He was flipping the last pancake and his muscles contracted while he worked making a blush come up to my cheeks. He turned and pulled me over avoiding my bruise and eating with me. He's sweet and told me I could stay as long as I like and that he would help me get on my feet. I have never been on my feet before so this shall be interesting.