We Can't Go Back...

Back & Forth (1)

| Rewritten |

So for summer break, I came back home to spend time with my family. Julie and I have been growing apart and I knew it was going to happen but that doesn't mean I'm ready for it.

Luciana and Fabiana are sitting next to me on the beach. We're all looking out at the water, its really peaceful.

"Vocês estão indo para quebrar?" Fabiana ask. Are you guys going to break up?

The twins have noticed that my relationship isn't going too well.

"Eu não sei, mas provavelmente. Ela não está nem tentando mais você sabe. Quero dizer, é frustrante porque eu não quero que isso acabe." I say. I don't know but probably. She's not even trying anymore ya know. I mean its frustrating because I don't want it to end.

"Y/N se não colocar no esforço mais do que talvez seja a hora." Luci says. Y/N if she doesn't put in effort anymore than maybe its time.

I nod my head then get up and go to my room. I change into Nike pros, a sports bra, and some running shoes. I run to the gym and when I get there go to work. I switch between machines and using my own body weight. Bia came in halfway through my workout and started sparing with me. When we are done we both go sit in the locker room.

"O que esta acontecendo com você? Você quase quebrou minha costela lá fora." Bia ask. What's going on with you? You almost broke my rib out there.

"Sua Julie eu tenho certeza que nós vamos quebrar." I say. Its Julie, I'm pretty sure we're going to break up.

We keep talking and Bia decides to come back to the house with me. When I get home I see a note, the twins left they're going to Marcelo's game. I would have gone too but I'm not in a good mood and I would have been a buzzkill.

Bia and I go up to my room and I hop in the shower, once I get out she gets in. Bia comes out the bathroom and starts changing in my room. Usually this wouldn't have been a problem but if I'm being completely honest, when Bia let her towel drop I let my eyes roam all over her body. We make eye contact but I look away.

"Gostou do que está vendo?" Bia ask. Like what you see?

I take a deep breath and rub my temple.

"Pare você sabe que eu não posso, eu ainda estou com Julie." I say. Stop you know I can't, I'm still with Julie.

"Não por muito tempo pelos sons dele." Bia says. Not for long by the sounds of it.

I roll my eyes and continue scrolling through my phone. Now, if you remember when I came to Brazil over break with the girls. Kaka said something about Bia and I being occasional fuck buddies, which is right. When ever we just wanted to have sex with no strings attached we went to each other. Bia doesn't really do relationships. I mean she's tried but they've never worked out. I was still with Julie and even though things weren't going good I wasn't going to cheat on her, I'm not like I use to be.

Everyone came back from the game about an hour ago and we all go out to dinner to celebrate the win. When we get back from dinner but I can't sleep. Julie is on my mind, she's all I can think about.

I wake up and head to my Mom's room. I wake her up and she moves over so I can sit with her.

"I'm going to catch a flight bad home. I can't just sit here and wait for Julie and I to break up. It hurts too much." I explain.

"I knew you would go back eventually. I love you Y/N now go get your girl back." Mom says.

She kisses my forehead and I have our drive take me to the airport. I only packed my necessities because most of my things we're still at the house with the girls.

I touch down in California around three in the afternoon.
I didn't tell anybody that I was coming so I just head over to Julie's house. I remember she told me her parents were out for the week and she had the house to herself. I pull up and see her car in the driveway, good she's home. I get out of my car and unlock the front door with the spare key Julie gave me. I walk in and close the door behind me. I put the takeout I got on the table along with the necklace I got engraved with Julie's name on it. I heard noises coming from her room so I go upstairs to see what it was. I open the door and see Julie doing a little more than making out with Zach. When Julie sees me she pulls away from Zach and stands up.

"I didn't know you were coming back." Julie says.

I just scoff and walk out of her room.

"Y/N wait." Julie says running after me.

"You know what, I came back to surprise you. I wanted to make this work because I couldn't just walk away knowing I didn't try my best. But you screwed it all up so have a good life Julie." I say.

I walk out to my car and before I can get in Julie slams the door close. She takes her body and holds my body against the car. We look into each other's eyes and I just want to pull Julie into me and tell her everything I'd going to be alright.

But I don't.

"Please don't go." Julie says.

Tears are streaming down both of our faces.

"Please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I say just above a whisper.

Julie wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. On instinct I kiss her back, I let it go on for a little while longer before I pull away from Julie and unhook her arms from around my neck. I lean my head on Julie's shoulder and wrap my arms around her waist. Julie does the same and we just stand there for a minuet, not speaking. I know I have to let her go.

"Goodbye Julie."

She lets me go and I get in my car. I start driving back to the house, I don't look back because I knew if I did I would go back to her. Julie knows I hate seeing her cry, it breaks my heart. But seeing her with someone else breaks my heart even more.

I get to the house and I pull into the driveway. I pull my keys out and open the door. Hope, Ash, and Tobin are sitting on the couch watching TV. They all turn around and look at me.

"Y/N!"

They all hop off the couch and walk over to me. But they stop and look at me with confused expressions.

"Hey." I say.

"What's wrong?" Hope ask.

"I went to Julie's house to surprise her and I found her with Zach, I broke up with her." I say.

"Are you okay?" Ash ask.

I just nod my head before breaking down. I felt the three of them wrap their arms around me. Ash picks me up and sits on the couch with me. I'm on Ashlyn's lap while Hope and Tobin are on each side of us.

"I knew we were going to break up but I didn't think it would end like this." I mumble into Ash's shoulder.

"Hey it's going to be okay." Tobin says.

"Yeah your a great person and you've grown a lot. You and Julie have been through a lot maybe it was just time." Hope says.

"I know for a fact there are a few people who would jump at the opportunity to have you. Your starting college in a few weeks look at it as a fresh start." Ash says.

"Also next time you come back without telling us we're going to kill you." Tobin says.

We all laugh and spend the rest of the day together. Most of us are going to different colleges. Ash and Tobin are going to UNC, Hope is going to the University of Washington, Ali is going to Penn State University, Carli is going to Rutgers, Christen is going to Stanford, and I'm going to UC Berkeley with Alex...