Menacingly

Work had went by in a blur, I had actually gotten to do much more work than I have been doing which kept me busy and I feel like the talk that I had with Lucas was well needed but upsetting.

I had received more assignments than usual that helped keep my mind off of things thought that hardly worked at all.
Tears threatened to spill but I had managed to keep myself together for as long as I could hoping that no one had noticed that much.

I sat on my balcony Indian style looking at the beautiful scenery of the back yard watching as the Gardner trimmed the bushes to perfection.

Recently I had pulled my hair up into a pony tail to keep the wind from blowing it in front of my face. Now pieces lightly skimmed the back of my neck pulling me out of any thoughts that I was bound to get trapped in.

Thinking.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I wasn't the only one to notice. Not long ago I had received a text.

All this thinking can't be good, make up your mind or I might just be forced to do it for you. -Blocked

I didn't know what that meant but I hadn't bothered trying to figure it out either. Feeling someone's presence I turned around, looked at Toby then returned to watching the Gardener.

He took it upon himself to sit behind me, situating both legs on either side of me- his arms engulfing me- forcing me to lean back into his chest.

"Talk to me." he said, his breath trickling down my neck. Remembering what Emily had told me I processed my words slowly.

I didn't want to jump to conclusions but it was like turning in every direction trying to figure out which route to take when they were all the same.

I spoke quietly noticing that the gardener would hear anything I had said if I talked too loudly. All though we were high up it was peaceful. A drop of a pen could have been heard from down there at the moment.

"I was thinking about last night," I admitted. "It was my first time and I feel one way about it but it seems like you feel another." pausing I took a deep breath.

"You want to know how I felt about it?" he asked me. Unconsciously, I nodded my head. "First I was afraid of hurting you even though I knew you would feel pain since it was your first times but then all of my worries went away the moment I looked into those beautiful chocolate eyes of yours and I just wanted to savor every moment."

His lips glided across my cheek until he reached my temple, pressing his lips against that one spot but I wouldn't consider this as a kiss. "I have to admit that I'm not entirely happy with you."

"For what?"

"For talking to Lucas about it instead of talking to me," he replied. "He shouldn't be the one you go to when you feel insecure- especially when its about us."

Disappointment laced in his tone as he said this. The wind howled louder but I ignored it. Yawning I closed my eyes,"In a way your right."

"In a way?" he repeats in a way that caused my eyes to reopen. "What does that mean?"

"It means," I paused letting the words form on its own this time. "It means that I'm not going to go to you with every little problem."

"Baby," I knew I would have to get use to him calling me this every now and then but it came out soft and husky, erupting a shiver. "Look at me."

Not trusting myself to look into his eyes that always seemed to pull me in I went back to watching the Gardener.

A hand cupped my chin turning my head at an angle that helped me see Toby better. His eyes flickered to my lips as his thumb accidently brushed against it before returning my gaze.

"I want you to come to me with every problem you have so I can fix it." he said nothing else as he exited my room,leaving the cold air to pull at my skin.

"Spencer are you listening to me?" Aria asked me placing a hand on my shoulder.

I blinked then turned to face her. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I asked. Sighing she closed her laptop and turning to face me completely.

"What's gotten into you?" she asked placing a cup of coffee in front of me. "You keep zoning out and right now I really need you to focus."

"I'm really trying." I admitted taking a sip of my coffee to stay awake. "What time is it?"

"It's two in the morning and we've made tons of progress," she chimed sarcastically emitting an eye roll from me. "I dont know what you and Toby talked about that night but its been three weeks."

"I really dont know why I keep thinking about it, it wasn't like something bad had happened its just still lingering through my mind," I admitted. "What do you need help with?"

"Well as I was explaining, Ezra's book had got approved and now he's thinking about making a part two to the that involves both point of views and he wants me to help." she sighed. I raised a brow,"I thought that, that would be a good thing." I admitted.

"It is but the first book is only his point of view so then I have to figure out parts that would connect to his parts in book one." she explained reopening her lap top and opening the draft.

"You've read the first book right?" she asked. I nodded my head,"I haven't read the ending yet."

"Okay well this is somewhat in the middle," she said as she pushed her laptop over to me so that I would read it. "Does it make sense?"

"Is this about you and Ezra?" I asked confused after readying what she had typed. She shook her head,"I believe he told me that this book was about his ex girl friend also his first lover, apparently she died in a car crash or something like that," she clarified. "The second book is about me and Ezra."

Once she mentioned the car accident I shivered at the thought. "It goes along well but knowing you and reading this doesn't go together. . . the emotion in you I seen a second ago when you talked about Ezra and Nicole isn't the emotion I'm seeing here."

I turned the laptop fully towards her as extra effect. "That's the emotions I felt and besides this was long ago, I can hardly remember."

"Then how can you be so sure that that's what you felt?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders then began typing.

Sighing I grabbed my coffee taking a big gulp. She's in denial with her true emotions.
"We should go to bed before someone finds out that we're out of bed." Aria said.

"Too late."

Turning around I was surprised to see Toby standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. When I had left the room I had been positive he was sleep but by the looks of it he clearly wasn't.