CATS: Looking For Etcetera

Chapter Seventeen: Starlight

Tugger and Mistoffelees sat by the swings on the opposite side from the trees. Misto leapt silently up onto one of the seats and sat there quietly, looking off into nothing. Tugger leaned against one of the posts and cleaned the soft fur on his legs. Neither tom said anything. A few moments of silence passed before Tugger spoke up.

"You saved her butt out there, you know."

Mistoffelees glanced over shyly. His mind was a mess at the moment and he didn't know how to clear it all up. He was still thinking about his magic. Today his Senses had been working better, but still he could feel something wasn't right. His paws didn't tingle with power as they usually did and he had to concentrate really hard to keep his Senses awake. He couldn't stop thinking about Tugger either. Why did the other tom make him feel so giddy inside? When he'd praised Misto for fighting the dog and cleaned his wound he'd felt like he was going to explode. Something about Tugger made him feel out of control and crazy. He didn't know what it was, but it made him more shy and on-edge than ever. 

"What d'you mean?" he said after a moment. His voice was barely audible, even in the silence of the night. Tugger didn't seem to notice. He still didn't look up as he spoke. 

"Demeter. With that dog and stuff. You saved her butt. And probably our butts too. You saved all the butts..."

Mr. Mistoffelees turned away and looked at the ground.

"Anyone else would have done it if they'd been there."

"Yeah, well...You were really brave."

There was a hint of something unfamiliar in Tugger's voice. Something Misto had never heard in him before. Not quite uncertainty...or doubt...but...shyness! There was a hint of shyness in his voice. Misto snapped his head round to look at the other cat but he was glancing at the floor. He was shy! About what though? Usually Misto was the shy one, but now it seemed both of them were nervous about something. What did the Rum Tum Tugger have to be nervous about?

"Thanks," Misto smiled. He managed to swallow his nerves a little and jumped down from the swing. He noticed Tugger's fur prick up a little as he did so. The Maine coon kept licking his paws and didn't look over.

"Tugger...?"

Tugger stopped grooming himself but didn't meet Misto's gaze.

"Yeah?"

Misto swallowed.

"I..."

Was he really about to be honest about his magic?

"I..."

Tugger's heart stopped. Was this the right time to admit that he liked Misto?

"Um..."

No. He couldn't. Not yet. It would only make everyone panic.

No. Of course not. He didn't like him, why would he?

"What if we...don't find him?"

"Macavity?"

"Yeah."

"We will. We've got Plato and we've got you. We can't not find him."

Misto shook his head in frustration. What use was he without his abilities? He was nothing. He sighed and sat down a few yards away from the other cat. Tugger would understand, right?

"Any idea...why he did it? I mean, I know he wants Demeter, but surely there's more to it than that. Why Etcy? And why now?"

Tugger finally turned and looked at him. His eyes looked as beautiful as ever in this light. They were dark and wide and lined with thin strips of black fur like eyeliner. Plato was lying awake on the grass several feet away so both cats kept their voices down.

"What d'you mean?" Tugger said quietly.

"I mean...Macavity." Misto could barely whisper his name. Tugger looked away again. Why was he acting so shy and distant? This wasn't like him at all.

"Oh. Because he wants something else, for sure. That's only reason he does anything. That's what he's like..."

Sometimes Misto forgot that Macavity was Tugger's oldest brother. It was strange, there was basically no resemblance between the two, inside or out, and it just didn't seem to make sense that the two were related in any way.

"What does he want though? From us? It must be more than Demi, otherwise he'd just kidnap her in the first place."

Tugger shrugged.

"Dunno. I don't feel like I know who he is anymore."

Misto said nothing. He and Tugger had been younger than Plato when Macavity had turned evil and been exiled from the tribe, and sometimes he struggled to remember what he was like before it all went wrong. His only memory was of the red cat telling them all a scary story and chasing them all around the yard pretending to be a ghost cat. He remembered that well. Racing wildly through the junk with Tugger and Mungojerrie and Tantomile. It was strange to think that the evil criminal was once one of his best friends. It was like the old Macavity had just ceased to exist. He missed him, and he knew for a fact Tugger must miss him ten times more. He'd never really thought it would bother him that much, but when he thought about it it must have been hard for him and Munkustrap to see their friend and brother turn his back on them like this. Not to mention Old Deuteronomy too.

"I miss him," Misto said.

"Yeah," Tugger mewed quietly. "Me too." He shook his fur lightly and turned to Misto. "Still hurts?"

Misto glanced at the gash of red on his side. It was stinging and raw. He nodded.

"Come here," Tugger said gently. Misto's heart leapt and he felt his face go warm. He sat by Tugger's side and let him look at it carefully, stroking the fur around it with the tip of his paw.

"What are you even looking for?" Misto asked. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

Tugger looked up and started laughing. Misto hadn't heard him laugh like this in ages. It was a laugh he'd only heard a few times, mostly only when they were kittens. A real one. It was music to his ears. He smiled too and lay down on his stomach. The grass felt warm on his fur. Plato was asleep now. Bomba had climbed up the tree with Demeter and was facing the other way. 

He remembered the time when he and Tugger were kittens; best friends, inseparable, unstoppable. They'd done everything together, shared secrets and told each other things they'd never tell anyone else. He'd felt like the luckiest cat in the world to be his friend; he was funny and playful and crazy in the best possible way. Now, as Misto stared at the young tom, his golden fur illuminated by the starlight, his huge dark eyes soft and unblinking, he realised that he was everything he wanted and everything he'd ever needed. He was beautiful. His voice shaking, he forced himself to remain calm.

"Just you and me then," he said. Tugger nodded, his face suddenly serious. Misto wanted to tell him about his magic. Tugger wanted to tell him he loved him. He wanted to scream it in his face and let the whole world hear. He couldn't hold it in any longer. It was driving him crazy.

I love you I love you I love you.

But instead he just lay down next to him. Mistoffelees now realised just how exhausted he was. Now wasn't the time to bring up his secret. He just wanted to be here now in this moment. His eyelids started to feel heavy, and without realising what he was doing he sunk to the floor and rested his head on Tugger's stomach. His fur was soft and warm on his face. The bigger cat seemed startled at first, but then he curled up tightly around the tux cat's body and wrapped his tail round him protectively. He once again started to lick Misto's wound gently, and as the night faded to black they both fell asleep.