CATS: Looking For Etcetera

Chapter Nineteen: Walk Away

"This is useless." 

Plato suddenly stopped walking. They were only about ten minutes from the square, walking down a quiet avenue of neat houses. His friends looked at each other, confused.  Had they heard him correctly? 

"What d'you mean?" Mistoffelees asked. 

"We're never going to find Him like this! He could be anywhere by now, he will have sensed us coming. No way he'd stay here. And here, of all places! We're wasting our own time." 

"W...what do we do then?" Demeter asked. 

"You tell me," Plato muttered, suddenly deflated. What had happened to make the warrior lose his determination? It wasn't like him at all. 

To tell the truth, Plato was tired. Physically and mentally. He was tired of everyone expecting so much from him, and he was tired of being the one to get the blame if things didn't go right. His spark was gone, and he felt empty. 

Demeter turned to Tugger. 

"He's your brother, if anyone knows it would be you." 

Tugger squinted at her. 

"How would I know? Yeah I knew him, but that was before he turned crazy and decided to start kidnapping everyone!" 

It was a fair point. Still, Demeter pursued. 

"There isn't anywhere he liked to go back when he was part of the tribe?"

"You're stupid," Tugger said suddenly, shaking his head. Demeter shook her head and unsheathed her claws. 

"Well sorry for trying to save Etcy's life! Which none of you seem to care about!"

"You're acting like he's dumb or something!" Tugger spat back. " Why would he decide to hide somewhere he knew we know about? It doesn't work like that." 

"It's all we've got, don't you see that?! It's easy for us to sit here and give up but Etcy doesn't have a choice! She has to stay strong because if she doesn't..." 

Demeter looked away as tears brimmed in her eyes. She knew what it was like to be lost and scared and alone with Him, and the only thing that kept her going was the thought of rescue. What if he did something to the kitten? Like he'd done to her all those moons ago... 

"I don't know where he is," Tugger muttered, looking away and flattening his ears. Misto could tell something had gotten to him, but he didn't know what. He'd never noticed before how reluctant the tom was to talk about his brother, and everyone could sense the tension between he and Demeter was getting higher. 

"You must know!" Demeter said desperately. "You know him better than any of us! We can't just give up!" The she-queen began to break down, tears streaming down her cheeks. Tugger rolled his eyes and sat down opposite her. Usually Demeter would have turned away or hissed at him, but right now she was too upset to think about anything else but finding Macavity. She wanted to pull away but she didn't. Misto was refusing to use his powers, so Tugger was her only hope. She hated being this close to him. She hated everything about him but she didn't flinch. 

"I never said I was giving up," Tugger mewed, sounding tired and distant. They all knew Demeter hated him, and he wasn't fond of her either, but right now that didn't seem to matter. The golden queen held her head high, looking at the tom with confusion in her eyes. "If I knew where he was, I'd tell you." There was no annoyance in his voice, just emptiness. Misto wondered what had gotten into him, but he didn't want to ask. Demeter sighed in resignation, realising he was right. 

"Where do we even start?" she mewed quietly, sounding defeated. "Plato's right, we'll never find him like this."

Plato spoke up then, his voice blank and cold. 

"Misto, you need to use your magic. Sure it runs a risk, but it's one we have to take. It's our only chance." 

Misto's heart stopped. Plato was right, but he was useless. He would have to tell them, he didn't have a choice...

"Wait." 

Everyone looked over at Tugger. He had got everyone's attention off Misto, but clearly didn't know what to say. He hesitated before continuing. 

"Okay, maybe you're right, but let me talk to him first." 

Misto's eyes widened, but he nodded sharply. Demeter and Plato exchanged bewildered glances but Bombalurina smiled to herself as Tugger lead Misto off round the corner. 

Tugger stopped and leaned against the stone wall. 

"Talk to me," he said. Misto swallowed. "Come on," Tugger continued. "I don't bite. Usually." 

Misto sat down, his soft fur flat. His ears drooped and his wide glittering eyes lowered.

"My magic...isn't working," he said bluntly. Tugger squared his jaw and looked at the pavement. 

"Right..." 

"I know, I should've just said, but you have no idea what it's like with all that pressure - when everyone's so reliant on you whenever anything goes wrong, and I just...It just left me!" he mewed, looking completely panicked. "It's gone! I'm sorry, I know, I've let everyone down, but I didn't know what to do..." 

"You should have told us, we wouldn't get mad at you. We'd have shit ourselves, yeah, but we'd never get mad at you. It's not your fault." 

It all made sense now. This was why Misto was acting funny. Tugger just wished the black cat had felt like he could confide in him. If he was honest, it did scare him that their most powerful asset against Macavity wasn't "working", but what mattered most to him was comforting Misto. The other cat looked worried. 

"What will we say to them? How will we find him? What if we can't find Etcy?"

"We'll work something out," Tugger shrugged. "We always do. What I wanna know is how it happened. Like, how can it just suddenly not work?" 

Misto shrugged. "I don't know much more about it than you do. Something just doesn't feel right in my head right now..."

"Same here." 

Tugger said it without thinking. Misto looked up curiously. Tugger wanted to tell him. He'd wanted to tell him since they'd first met, but now the urge was stronger than ever. He just wanted to tell him. He thought he'd made it so obvious but Misto just never got the message. Maybe he really wasn't interested, but what did that matter anymore? It was driving him crazy, he had to let it out. But when he spoke, he couldn't find the right words. Instead, he just mumbled softly:

"I...yeah...I know what you mean..."

"How come?" Misto pursued. Tugger started to blush and looked away. 

"It doesn't matter. Anyway, we should probably get going so..." he trailed off and stood up. Mistoffelees got up too and stood opposite. For a moment neither of the young toms said anything. They just looked at each other, trying to read the other's thoughts. Misto suddenly put a paw forward. Tugger's ears pricked up and leaned his head in. Misto closed his eyes and flattened his whiskers. 

But then Tugger pulled back. He shook his fur quickly and stood up straight. Misto, startled, looked at the other tom with confusion. He thought something had sparked between them, but it was gone. Tugger hadn't felt it. He didn't want it. The taller cat wouldn't look at him. Instead he looked down again and turned to walk away.