Hello stranger. ⇝ Phan

3.2

Phil-lion: Clari I need your help

Clari-net: Stay away from Dan
Clari-net: don't you think you've already hurt him enough?

Phil-lion: please Clari
Phil-lion: you know me, you know I never intended to hurt him
Phil-lion: you know I love him

Clari-net: I thought I knew, Philip
Clari-net: but right now I'm not so sure about that
Clari-net: And it's Clarissa for you

Phil-lion: so I can't count on you to help me win him back?

Clari-net: I will do everything I can so you don't "win" him back
Clari-net: Dan is not an object you can "win"
Clari-net: and, truth be told, he never was yours

Phil-lion: did you really just quote p!atd?

Clari-net: yes
Clari-net: but that's not the point
Clari-net: the point is
Clari-net: you don't deserve Dan.

Phil-lion: Clarissa, I just need one more chance
Phil-lion: I can prove you're wrong
Phil-lion: I can't live without him.
Phil-lion: and if he ever felt the same way I did
Phil-lion: I know I can make him happy

Clari-net: well you should have thought about that before getting a girlfriend

Phil-lion: yeah well but I "got a girlfriend" so I wouldn't get kicked out of my house.
Phil-lion: my brother saw my texts
Phil-lion: he gave me a week to get a girlfriend or he'd tell our mom that I was queer and that I had a thing for Dan
Phil-lion: which meant I had a week to either get a girlfriend or find a new place to live
Phil-lion: this chick Janine had a mad crush on me, so I thought I could use her as my girlfriend until I could afford a new place near London
Phil-lion: turns out she is a bit possessive, and demanded my Facebook login, and knows the password to my phone, so she sent all that mean crap to Dan.
Phil-lion: and I know using people is wrong, and believe me, I feel terrible
Phil-lion: but
Phil-lion: when I think about Dan
Phil-lion: Jesus Christ, when I think about his smile
Phil-lion: when I think about the way he fixes his fringe
Phil-lion: about the way he laughs at my stupid jokes
Phil-lion: the way he blushes when I compliment him, which means he doesn't know how truly beautiful he is
Phil-lion: when I think about how happy he makes me
Phil-lion: everything is worth it
Phil-lion: and right now he doesn't even want to hear my name
Phil-lion: I'm desperately in love with this guy
Phil-lion: and you're my last hope

Clari-net: I don't even know what to say, Phil
Clari-net: I hope you really like Dan
Clari-net: and I hope you take really good care of him
Clari-net: because I am going to trust you.

Phil-lion: thank you so much
Phil-lion: I won't disappoint you

Clari-net: of course you won't
Clari-net: cause if you do, I'll kick your balls so hard you'll die

Phil-lion: that's a very specific threat