Ice Cream | Joshler

Chapter 11

Still early Friday Morning

Tyler

I pulled Josh back from the road and onto the sidewalk. Bright headlights flash by us. Josh turned around and looked at me.

"T-tyler?" I look at him dead in the eyes.

"Why were you walking out into the road Josh?" He looked down and the ground searching for an answer.

"I...um..i. D-do-" i pulled him into a tight embrace. He let out a big sigh but i feel him shaking.

"You scared me Josh." He mumbled a short apology into my shirt. He then pulled away and gave me a sad glare.

"I'm n-not like him Tyler. Im not like my father. Why don't you trust me? Ive known you m-my whole life Tyler. You've known me just the same. D-do you not feel the same as me? Because if you are just going to leave that easily because of my dad, then maybe you aren't the person i thought you were." Hot streams ran down his face and i held back my own tears as hard as i could. I let out a sigh.

"I-i'm just...scared. Im scared of your dad. W-What if he did something like that to me?" Josh snorted at my statement and ran a hand through his hair while whispering to himself. He shook his head slightly, showing his disagreement.

"You really think i'd let him hurt you?" He played with his hair before pulling out another bunch of blue fluff. "Tyler, im in love with you. I'm so fucking in love with you. Ive never felt like this with anyone. And I really hope you feel the same. I trust you, Tyler. I trust you with my life. And i trust you with my love. So please..." He fell to his knees and he looked down at the ground. "Please, just be here for me. I'd do it for you a million times over. Dont leave me alone because of something my dad did. We arent the same person. Tyler, please...i need you." his voice cracked at the last part. He held his face in his hands and his body continued to tremble. He was whispering to himself again. His voice continued to grow louder to the point where i could hear was he was saying.

"Shut. Up." He spoke into his hands in between sobs. "Please...just shut up!" He banged his fists onto the concrete. I bent over to try and comfort him but he just flinched away from my touch. He was too far gone in his own mind and i didn't know what to do. He began to shout.

"Shut up! Let me think on my own!" He began to claw at his own skin. I could watch him do this anymore. I wrapped my whole body around him, when only made him kick and try to punch me. I grabbed his arms and pulled them away from his face. He tried to get out of my grasp but i held him there. I couldn't watch him tear himself apart. It was all my fault. "Let go of me! Why cant i just fucking control myself? I have no control! Just let me fucking die." He eventually gave up fight me and i pulled his head into my chest.

"Im sorry Josh... I-im so sorry. I'll be here for you, i'll always be here for you. I dont care about y-your dad. I care about you." He grabbed my hand tightly. It hurt, but i didn't care. "I was being fucking selfish. You are the only person i care about. You are the only person i want." I kissed the top of his patchy blue head. He body trembled in my arms and he let out loud sobs. It broke my heart to see him so disheveled, so broken.

The night was quiet. It felt like the world stopped spinning because of us. No more car passed. There was no breeze. We were only greeted by the fluorescent street lights and each other. Josh had stopped crying and talking to himself awhile ago. I checked the time on my phone: 4:37am. I slowly stood from the cold concrete sidewalk and helped Josh stand up. Without a word exchanged, i began to walk him back to his house, i had him tightly in my grasp. I finally let my tears fall. What was this boy doing to me?

We made it to his house. He untangled himself from my grasp and went to climb up a ladder that lead right to his window. I guess he snuck out a lot. He was half way up before he turned to look at me.

"C-can you stay? You are the only one that makes him shut up." I nodded and started climbing. I didn't know who the "he" was but i wasn't going to question it. Not tonight at least.

I climbed through his window as he was climbing into his bed. He had already stripped himself down to his boxers and at this point i could really care less. I pulled off all my clothes except for my boxers and climbed into his bed. He immediately nuzzled into my chest and i wrapped my arms around him. He let out a sigh of relief as i soothingly let my fingers dance against his spine.

"Im sorry for making you feel like you were going to have to go through this alone." I kissed the top of his head again. "I love you, J." I felt him smile against my chest for the first time this night.

"I love you too." His breathing started to slow as he calmed down from tonights events. He let out a breath and mumbled "so much" into my chest. I smiled as i heard soft breaths coming from him.

In just a few days, he has become my life. The broken pastel prince in my arms was my everything. We may not be anywhere near perfect, but this is the purest form of love. Everyone is always searching for a feeling in there life. I always thought it was happiness. But this is so much more. He gives me happiness, but he also gives me sadness. He can make me cry and he can make me laugh. We could be mad at each other, but there is no one else we'd rather be mad at. There is no one else i rather have make me laugh or cry or even mad. There is no one else i would want to be with.