I Am Not Your Sidekick

Sorry I'm not sorry

Kaldur'ahm Pov

I watched Perceus walk away like nothing happened,  his hands in his pockets, slowly disapearing in the dark night. Bu this time, I was calling after him, visibly fuming.

I suddenly had the urge to thow or punch something. 

I almost jumped in surprise when another smaller hand met my shoulder. I turned around. Robin was standing there, his face emotionless.

"Kaldur, we did what we could. If he doesn't want to be kept under watch, it's his choice." He said. I tried to keep my voice calm.

"I know, but....Perceus is just so annoyingly stubborn. I sometimes want to strangle him." I threw my hands up in exasperation.

"I get it. You're mad. But we did what we had to do. If he doesn't want protection, we shouldn't try to force him into it. " he paused. "We should head back to the mountain. Batman wants a report."  With that, he turned around and went to the bioship. I followed.

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Robin pov

Nobody spoke on the way back to the mountain.

I could see that what I said earlier calmed Kaldur down a bit, but he was still visibly fuming and nobody said anything to him in fear that he might snap at them.

I had only known Kaldur for a year, but we all knew that when he was angry, it was better just to let him cool down on his own.

Looks like this one was going to take longer than usual. I have never seen Kaldur so angry before, but I heard what that Perceus guy said to him. They were hurtful, but, nevertheless; true.

I knew how he felt. Batman was like that all the time. Stubborn,  senseless and sometimes a bit cruel.

I looked at Kaldur out of the corner of my eye. He looked like he might punch something.  He had a permanent scowl on his caramel brown skin and his light green eyes blazed in anger. His fingers curled around the seat's armrests, knuckles turning white. I sat in the chair only a few inches from him. Lucky me.

"Kaldur,  calm down." I whispered. His fingers only tightened around the armrests, plobaby denting it and his scowl deepened. He stood up, still scowling, and began walking away, simply saying, "I am going to the back."

When he was finally out of sight, Wally, being the most obnoxious person on the team, started talking.

I glared at him. "Shut up, KF.....I'm going to talk to aqualad." I stood up and walked to the back.

Kaldur stood by the window, looking at the sea  beneath us as the ship spiralled towards our landing in the water.

"Dude, get it together. The trip back to the mountain has never been this awkward. Why are you so upset? It was just civilian-" Kaldur cut me off before I could finish.

"I don't think you heard the entire conversation I had with Percy. He has never been on the surface for more than a few days and he has never been so deep in the city alone."

"You mean he's-"

"He comes from the ocean. His father, Poseidon, and my king are good friends. I met Percy when I was fourteen, which is when I was transferred to Poseidonis in the military, and we instantly became best friends. He is only half god, though." He seemed unfazed by the fact that Percy might be stronger than him.

I stood there, quietly for a moment,  next to Kaldur looking out the window.

"And you're not afraid of him?"I asked after a moment.

Kaldur chuckled. "At first, I was."

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Percy Pov

I walked in the dark alleys of Miami, not having a clue where I was or where I was going. I just knew that I had to find a phone booth and call for help.

I have punched several telephone poles and made plenty of pipes explode on the way, which seemed to calm me down. I don't know why I was so mad at Kaldur. Maybe it was the adrenaline and panic.

As soon as I was out of Kaldur's sight, I let my knees buckle and I emptied my stomach. For a moment I just sat there against the wall of a building, weakly thinking about what I was going to do next. I tapped my fingers against the concrete, a clear sign of ADHD.

Soon I stood up and walked on, feeling a bit better. Rain started pouring down in showers, soaking me. I didn't bother trying to keep dry.  That whole psychopathical episode made me tired and hungry. Harley had taken my money and I have eaten all my ambrosia in order to heal my wounds. I didn't have much.

My clothes were ripped apart and my monster-proof phone was gone. Guess I'll have to ask Hermes for another one. Let's just say, he owes my dad some favours.

I continued walking down the dark alleyway, a hoodie pulled over my upper body and the hood covering my soaked hair. I wasn't in the mood to explain to my mom what happened and why I didn't show up at the station, so when I saw a phone booth,  I walked past it. For once, being wet didn't help clear my thoughts, instead, it was like thick clowds of smoke blocking out everything that might be able to make me focus again.

A scowl was still imprinted on my face and the terrifying face of the Joker haunted my every thought. His face was carved into the backs of my eyelids,  making me too terrified to even blink.

I shook my head,  trying to shove my thoughts away.

I walked on.

The street lights were the only thing illuminating the street, giving the night a yellowish glow. Every ten minutes or so, a car would zoom past, temporarily blinding me and making me choke on dust.

The blazing, furious fire in my eyes were still ablaze, even though I looked calm. Even though I didn't dare look anywhere else than the sidewalk. Even though nobody could see it. The fury inside of me terrified me and I didn't even know what I was angry about. Maybe it was the fact that the whole incident left me traumatised, or the fact that I lost almost everything in the last few hours, or the fact that I was cold, tired and hungry.

I don't know.

But what I do know, was that I was furious. I felt like I could snap any moment and kill something without even realising what I've done.

"I am not your sidekick." I had said. And it was true. I don't want to be some backup. I am nobody's sidekick. The look Kaldur had given me was hurtful,  but it didn't mean I was sorry for saying so.

All my life, people have been planning out my life for me. Telling me what to do and then I obeyed like some machine. I thought of it as normal. I just lived like that,  becausw it was all I knew. They planned whether I'd be a hero, a backup or a damsel in destress.

I don't want that life anymore.

I know better now.

I am not going to New York.

Sorry Kaldur. 

Sorry mom.

I'm Sorry I'm not sorry.