I Am Not Your Sidekick

"You didn't kidnap somebody, did you?" "Yeah. I did."

As it turned out, I needed that card batman gave me sooner than I anticipated.

I walked into the joker. Like, litterally, walked into him.

I borrowed a car to get somewhere faster, and on the way to the cheapest hotel in Gotham, my car drived into a tree at full speed.

How does one simply drive into a tree at full speed, you ask?

Easy, if you don't have a licence.

Ok, so I'm not the best driver in the world, so what?

Let me rephrase that.

Ok, I'm the worst driver in the world, so what?

Like a normal person (which I am not), I climbed out of the car, tripped over a dustbin and landed face first on the chest of the madman with a white face and green hair.

You know the name.

Joker! Yaay!

You deserve a round of applause for guessing that right (not really, but so what? Sue me.)

He invited me for a drink to make things right between the two of us.

His exact words were actually, " we've gotten off on the wrong foot. So I'm giving you the choice to either come with me for a drink, or come with me and get tortured until you forget everything."

I'm not normally one to drink, but hey, it's better than being tortured until I forget everything, right?

So as soon as I agreed for a drink, his minions jumped me and shoved me into the van.

Man, I get kidnapped alot these days.

At least I wasn't blindfolded and tied up.

"So what exactly is this about, Joker?"

" Peace offering. I realised that I wasn't scoring our side any brownie points by shoving a knife in your knee, so I decided to make a peace offering. I take it you know about the war between us villains and those heroes or whatever you might call them?"

"Yeah, I know about it, and nobody is keeping score at the moment. I am not going to choose either of you. I'm a civilian. "

Joker raised his index finger, shook it and clicked his tongue.

"Ah, but that's not for you to choose. You are a demigod, right? That's what you call yourself?" I nodded. "So you sometimes go around the world, killing monsters and whatnot?" I nodded again. " but I take it you are aware of the fact that some demigods are bad. And it's not necessarily by choice. It's just how they were raised. Daddy issues and mommy issues and stuff like that."

"How do you know about all this? You're a regular mortal. I would've sensed your aura if you were a demigod." I demanded.

Joker looked at me as if I was dumb.

"I did my research, kiddo." Was all he said.

"You didn't kidnap somebody, did you?" I asked suspiciously.

"Yeah." He looked at his nails, not really looking like he cared. "I did."

"You could've just asked me. I was at Deathstroke's lair being beaten to death these last couple of weeks. I assume that you know where that is?"

"Yes, but where's the fun in that? There's traffic and security systems and ID badges and all that kind of crap. Why deal with that kind of boring thing if I could just snatch someone off the street?"

I facepalmed.

"Who is it?"

"Some random Blonde girl. I don't even know her name."