How To Love And Be Loved

Chapter 9

How To Love And Be Loved hashtags starts now. :) Hope you're enjoying the story, I'm trying my best to make this story interesting and catchy, so please guys, bear with me. I wouldn't make this without you. Annnnd as you can see, walang prologue tong story na to its because I want to have a change gusto ko maeexcite kayo, don't worry guys gagandahan ko pa ang mga updates ko. And please follow my account so you'll be updated to my up coming stories. :) Thanks.

#HTLABLTheStartofTheGame

What?! Huh? I'm not making him fall inlove with me, I am just doing my part as his friend, I'm just being me, I'm just being myself. What's wrong with that? And all of the girls out there, why me? Oh, fuck. I need to keep calm. Sari, calm down.

"W-what do you mean?" Nauutal kong tanong sakanya. I don't know but he's still hugging me.

"Sari, I love you." Those words, it made me cry. I started to cry as he caressed my face, I'm crying because I don't wanna hurt him, I don't wanna make this situation more difficult, I don't wanna hurt Yam. I just want to escape and disappear. I don't know if tomorrow I can still face Yam and say 'you should go and follow your heart, maybe Jake is feeling the same way,' but damn! I can't. I feel so guilty.

"No, this is wrong Jake. I don't wanna hurt you, I love you because you're my friend. But-" Instead of letting me finish, he kissed me. Should I get mad? Even though I know this is wrong some part of me saying that I should cherish this moment, I should let him do this to me. And yes, I respond to his kisses. He was holding me on my waist and I was gently holding him on his kneck, somehow I enjoyed it. But suddenly I started to remember Yam. Oh, God! I just hurted her. I'm such bitch, I'm so stupid!

This is not me, this is not the Rosari Wayne.

I started to walk away and cry, no this isn't right anymore. I was wiping my tears while walking.

"Sari!" He shouted.

"Jake, please? Can we just be friends rightnow?" I said as I faced him.

"Yes, ofcourse. I'm not asking you to love me. I just want to be with you, okay I'm sorry if I kissed you. Can we just please enjoy this? Give this to me, Sari. Please." Nakikita ko sa mga mata niyang nasasaktan siya. Bakit ngayon lang niya sinabi sakin? We're in a difficult situation. Di ko kayang makasakit, if you'll ask me if I love Jake, yes. I love him because he's my friend pero hanggang dun lang yung feelings ko para sakanya. At kung makakagusto man ako sakanya, pipigilan ko. Okay lang na ako yung masaktan, ayoko lang ng may nasasaktan dahil sakin. Sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam ng ganun, at ayokong mangyari yun.

I just nodded and he gave me a little smile. Jake is still my friend, at kung matutuloy man ang pag aral niya sa ibang bansa susulitin ko na rin ang mga araw na natitira.

"Alam kong nabigla ka. Sorry din kung hinalikan kita nadala lang ako. Hindi ko dapat ginawa yun." He said without even looking at me.

"I understand you Jake. Nagusap na ba kayo ni Yam?" Nagdadalawang isip pa ko kung itatanong ko sakanya yun, parang kanina lang umiiyak ako ngayon naman ninenerbyos ako bakit ba ganito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Yeah. Kaya alam ko kung bakit ganyan ang naging reaksyon mo, Sari. Mahal ko naman siya pero kapatid talaga ang turing ko sakanya. Pag pinilit ko siyang mahalin mas lalo lang siyang masasaktan." Sagot niya at nagsimulang mag lakad. 'Di ko alam kung anong isasagot ko sakanya, naaawa ko kay Yam pero naiintindihan ko rin si Jake. Is it my fault? Na pinilit ko si Yam na sabihin yung nararamdaman niya kay Jake? Gusto ko lang naman makatulong pero parang mas gumulo pa ata. Bakit ba ganito ang mga nangyayari ngayon. Ugh.

"Jake, why me?" Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ko natanong sakanya yun. Kinakabahan ako. I just can't contain it anymore, I only can handle one problem in one day. But damn, today was enough, and I don't know if tomorrow I can still be a positive and a happy person.

"You know what, in love you don't need a reason, you're just going to woke up one day and realize that you're inlove with someone." He looked so serious. And I'm afraid of that.

"Jacob, you know how much I treasure this friendship, and getting into 'more than friends thing' wasn't a good a idea. I seriously don't wanna hurt with this words, Jake. Pero kailangan ko to sabihin sayo 'cause I care about you, I'd rather hurt with this words than to comfort you with lies. Sana maintindihan mo ko, hindi rin madali to sakin." Alam ko nasaktan ko siya, but its better in this way. Ayoko siyang paasahin.

Halos tinanggihan ko lahat ng nanligaw sakin nung high school, ang tanging dahilan ko lang nun ay pagaaral. Pero ngayon mas dumami ang rason kung bakit kailangan kong tanggihan si Jake.

"Sari, I know. Just let me love you. Wag mo naman akong saktan nang ganito, you're not giving me a chance." Hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot ko sakanya. Nasasaktan narin ako. Ngayon ko lang naranasan to, kung noon madali lang sakin mag reject ng mga lalaki ngayon hindi eh. Kaibigan ko to.

Niyakap ko siya, hindi ko alam pero yun yung tamang bagay na alam kong mako-comfort ko siya.

After nang paguusap namin na yon, we still enjoy ourselves here in tagaytay. Naglakad lakad, kumain. Medyo awkward minsan pero pinipilit kong ibahin yung topic na hindi connected samin. This is what I like about Jake, maintindihin siya. And I don't deserve him.

Its 7:30 in the evening when we decided to go home. Marami mang nangyari ngayong araw nag enjoy parin ako. Sunod sunod yung mga pangyayari naguguluhan rin ako pero ngayon mas pipiliin ko muna maging masaya. Magiging busy na ko sa mga darating na araw kaya ayokong maubos lang ang oras ko kakaisip sa mga bagay na di ko naman mababago.

Tinititigan ko lang si Jake habang nagda-drive siya. Mabait, gwapo, responsable, ang swerte ng magiging girlfriend ni Jake pero hindi ako yun at hindi pwede.

Natulog muna ako dahil medyo malayo pa kami. Suddenly my phone rang.

Lian calling....

Napatingin si Jake sa phone ko and tumingin siya sakin. I rejected the call, ayoko nang saktan si Jake. Sobra sobra na.

"Bakit hindi mo sinagot?" He asked.

"Pagod na ko, and I'm sure its just about the opening of the shop tomorrow."

"Okay." He answered.

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10 pm narin kami nakauwi ni Jake kagabi medyo traffic rin kasi. Today is the opening of the shop. Kinabahan tuloy ako bigla, sana maging masaya lang ngayong araw, I had enough yesterday and I just wanna chill today.

"Hey." Bungad ni Jessa sakin.

"Musta? Kakauwi mo lang?"

"Yup. Tulog muna ko ah. Pagod na pagod ako." Sagot niya.

"Okay sige. Mamaya aalis ako ha. Mag iiwan nalang ako ng note." Nginitian ko siya at nag simula na mag prepare.

5:30 pm ang start ng opening, so 3 pm palang naman kaya I still have a lot of time to pamper myself. Ngayon lang ako makakapagayos ng ganito, putting make ups is really not my thing. Dumiretso ako sa salon na sinabi sakin ni Ma'am Reyes, libre niya to kaya sino ba naman ako para tumanggi? Diba.

"Hi ma'am! Welcome!" Nginitian ko lang yung babae at dumiretso.

Nagulat ako kasi alam na nila kung anong gagawin sakin. Nang matapos ako ayusan, Wow! Just wow! Ako ba to? Ang ganda ko. Hahaha! Di ako sanay na makita yung sarili ko na ganito.

"Ma'am, eto daw po ang susuotin niyo." May inabot yung babaeng paper bag sakin. Pati susuotin ko ready na din pala. Grabe si Ma'am Reyes ah. Pero nag e-enjoy ako sa mga pangyayari ngayon, sana maging masaya mamaya. Na kahit man lang ngayong araw makalimutan kong may mga problema ko.