How To Love And Be Loved

Chapter 13

#HTLABLProblems

Lumipas ang mga araw naging mas malungkot, its been 2 months pero di parin bumabalik si Ma'am Theresa, sabi niya mas naging busy lang siya sa mga trabaho niya lately pero its too much. Ano tong shop na to kung hindi rin naman niya masasaksihan ang paglago nito? What's the purpose of this kung may trabaho naman siya? I know I have no right to question her but this is just so wrong, to think na I'm just a designer here yet I do all the paperworks that has been assigned to her. I'm tired, so tired. But I knew I can't give up.

I don't know what to do with my life anymore..

After what happened to me and Yam I feel so miserable. I lost her, and I'm slowly losing my friends. And the most heartbreaking part is... I'm losing myself too.

"Its saturday, Sari." Ruth broke the silence.

Hanging out with her helps me to ease stress and pain. She's been my very good friend this past few weeks. Lian's not around and I'm thankful for that, whenever I see him I still get curious about his identity, his lies. Their lies. I don't wanna get involve in their lives, I had enough and I don't have time to think about their problems cause I have mine too. I dont think I can still handle another problem.

"Yeah. What's wrong?" I answered.

"Do you still need to bring those paperworks here? I thought were going to have fun today, no work, just chill. Right?"

"I just really need to finish this. I promise, once I finish this I'll treat you!" I force myself to smile. I've been drowning myself to all this paperworks infront of me.

Were here in the cafe. Sabi ko naman siya I need to finish this on time pero nag pumilit siya na labas naman daw kami so I have no choice. Whenever I look Ruth I want to ask her who is Zach, I want to know them. But I was not in the position to ask.

Matagal ko naring hindi nakikita si Lian, The last time I saw him was the day Yam ended our friendship. The day after that, Lian texted me that he's been up to something and he's really busy. Lagi siyang nagtetext at tumawag minsan nagpapadala pa siya ng pagkain para sakin, but after weeks of him being gone, Hindi na siya masyadong nagtetext, I was worried about him. I want to do the first move pero nagaalangan ako dahil baka busy lang talaga siya so I decided to keep my mouth shut.

"Malapit na pasukan, San ka magaaral?"

"I want to transfer pero sayang naman so dun nalang ulit ako sa dati kong school." Sagot ko sakanya.

"Anong school ka ba?"

"Wilsane Academy."

"Really!? Alam mo bang dyan din ako magaaral this year? I'm so happy makakasama kita." Tuwang tuwang sagot ni Ruth. I'm happy rin since parehas na Fashion Designer ang course namin so may pagasa kaming maging kaklase, but to think na makakasama ko ulit si Yam... Hay.

"Aren't you happy?" She asked.

"Of course I'm happy!" Masiglang sagot ko sakanya.

"I wish I could have a sister like you. Dalawa lang kasi kaming magkapatid and kuya ko siya."

"Swerte ka nga eh, ako wala kong kapatid. Di ako nakaexperience magkaroon ng buong pamilya." Sagot ko sakanya, nalungkot nanaman ako hay.

---

"Sa wakas nakabalik ka na dito!" Bungad sakin ni Gino.

"Nako Sari!!! Miss na miss na kita, ano kumain ka na ba? Nagluto ako ng paborito mong adobo!" Masayang bati naman ni Tita.

After of months being alone napagisip isip ko na baka kailangan ko na ituon sa iba ang atensyon ko, kasi ako mismo ang nagpapahirap sa sarili ko.

"Laki ng nagbago sayo, yung two months na hindi kita nakita parang 2 years." Sabi ni Gino sabay upo sa tabi ko.

"Grabe naman. Nakakastress lang talaga mag trabaho." Sagot ko sakanya.

"Pumayat ka din tas para ka nang panda sa laki ng eyesbags mo." At bigla naman niyang nilapit ang mukha niya saakin na parang inuusisa ang bawat parte nito. Puro talaga kalokohan to si Gino.

"Ganun talaga. Palibhasa kasi ikaw puro kalokohan." Sagot ko sakanya at sinampal ng mahina ang mukha niya.

"Gino, Sari! Kakain na." Sigaw ni Tita. Sabay naman kaming tumayo at pumunta sa kusina.

One message...

From: Lian Gomez

Miss you. See you soon, Sari.

To: Lian Gomez

See you.

Ang tagal niyang di nagtext, 1 month na wala kong balita sakanya tapos magtetext siya ng I miss you? Fuck. Just fuck. I don't need them anymore.

"Mamaya na yan, Sari. Kumain ka muna." Saway ni tita sakin.

Naging masaya naman ang weekends ko kasama sila Tita. Namiss ko yung buhay ko nung highschool, namiss ko yung mga panahong wala pa kong masyadong iniintindi sa buhay.

Lian calling...

Sasagutin ko ba? Anong sasabihin ko? Hay. Pinatay ko ang phone ko at natulog. Wala rin namang mangyayari kung sasagutin ko yun.

Its six thirty in the morning and I decided not to go to work today. Just today. Ewan ko kung bakit ako nagkakaganito, their pushing me away and I'm pulling them back, but when they're already here I'm pushing them away.

I feel so numb.

Binuksan ko ang phone ko at ang daming messages. I keep on scrolling and scrolling until I found Lian's text.

Answer my calls. I'm coming back, wait me.

Did something happened? Why is he like this?

5 missed calls from Lian Gomez

From: Lian Gomez

Good am. This is from St. Lukes hospital, your family/friend got into an accident.

Tears started to fall. I don't know what to feel. I didn't answer his calls. I checked the last time he call its 11:59 pm. And in just few minutes he got into an accident.

I'm heartless, I should've let him speak. Stupid Rosari.

I fix myself and ran to hospital. I want to see him safe. Its fucking all my fault.

AN: Sorry sa slow update, and I know this chapter is too short but nah, atleast kahit papano nakaraos. Once I get my phone back I promise mas mabilis na ang update. :)