Mistake ♦ Romitri

Chapter 10

Another day- another hangover. Just getting up caused the pain in my head to explode, stabbing like a thousand tiny needles. I fought the urge to clutch my head and fall to my bed again and got up, stumbling towards the wardrobe. I spun my hair into a messy bun and draped on a t-shirt and jeans, covering it with a bland, grey hoodie. I headed towards the kitchen, tripping over my own feet on the way there, searching for a coffee. I wasn't one for an instant coffee but my system was begging for caffeine.

As I clambered up the stairs I suddenly heard raised voices, two I recognised very distinctly. As I reached the top, I felt a lot more sobered than before. I casually leaned in, hoping not to bump into any other of the annoying kids around here. I caught glimpses of the conversation and I had a jest of what they were saying and- no.

I paused, the realisation suddenly hitting me. Dimitri and Sam were fighting in the office over- over my adoption. My adoption by Dimitri. Well, not exactly adoption but for him to become my legal guardian until I turned eighteen. Dimitri seemed even more adamant against it than I was, we both knew why. That kiss had changed everything.

I waited and waited for him to say his final no and leave but what I was not expecting was the resigned yes that ended the conversation. Dimitri left without a word, he would be back later, but before he made it out of the building he turned and saw me leaning, failing to be casual, against the wall outside the office. Suddenly feeling sobered I got off the wall and walked towards him.

Shock molded his features but he quickly recovered himself. 'Rose.' He nodded in acknowledgment. I fumbled for something to say but before I could think I blurted, 'what was that about?' I knew I had been eavesdropping so didn't try to hide it. 'It's as much up to you as it is to me.' He stated. I felt some sort of relief but couldn't push back the voice that said he was lying, whether he knew it or not.

'Why did you say yes?' I asked, hoping I misheard. Instead, he gave me the one thing Dimitri would always give me- reason. 'Rose, you're in a bad place now. And, whatever happened between us was- I don't know. But, you're a minor anyway and this will change nothing. When you turn eighteen it will all be revoked but for now, you need a parent figure. Although I don't think I can supply that, I believe I can be the best big brother you could ever want.' A smile played on his lips. It was contagious, a small smile fell onto mine and I flung myself into his arms.

I ignored the whole zen-life lesson behind it, I was just glad that he cared. That anyone cared. He hugged me back gently, drawing a crowd of whispering children who didn't conceal that they were talking about us. I wanted to kiss him again but now, it wasn't an option.

I finally unraveled myself and looked up at him, craning my neck slightly. He had a smile on his face, a smile that I had learnt was very rare, and I felt it reflected into mine too.

'I'm sorry for lashing out. You made a good decision.' I smiled at him and gave him another hug before he had to leave.

I returned to my room to scramble for some change to get my daily coffee and as soon as I found three dollars, mostly in ten cents, I sprinted outside, desperate for a coffee.

I reached it in record time and quickly grabbed a coffee from the barista, who had my order ready by the time I got there. I sat in my normal booth and felt the memories of Dimitri flood back to me. A smile spread across my face and as I tried to hide my blush under my hair, another person sat opposite me.

I looked up, hoping desperately for it to be Dimitri but instead saw Lissa. I grimaced, turning my gaze to the floor. I hated to think that I had cried on her, only proving how unworthy I was. She grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her and I could already feel the tears in my eyes. My day was spiraling downwards, fast.

'Rose, I need to know why you feel this way. I already feel like your sister. Why do you put yourself down and refuse our friendship?' She asked sincerely, her gaze never leaving mine. 'It's just how I am OK!?' I burst, letting my emotions flood out of me. A clenched my fists but I felt like I was fighting a darkness that I didn't know was there.

'I'm sorry.' I apologised quickly and relaxed my fists. 'It's just me being an idiot, as always.' I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

'This is what I mean, Rose! You keep putting yourself down. After the meal everyone was really upset that you had left, they liked you- well, apart from Christian but he likes no one.' She laughed and I stifled a giggle as I felt like a true gossiping teenager.

'Have you heard anything from Dimitri today?' I asked, wondering whether he had told anyone. She shook her head but I didn't elaborate, in case it didn't go through. I still felt nervous about the whole thing, I felt as if I should let myself be excited but in truth I felt like it was a lie. It felt like just another way to destroy my heart.

I ignored my pain and carried on talking to Lissa before she got suspicious. I ignored the previous topic and groped for a new subject but before I could speak, she interrupted me. 'Rose, I want to try again. Can you try another meet up with all of us? For me?' She plead. I felt embarrassed that I had brought her down to that level so I agreed and let her continue excitedly about what we would do.

We agreed to meet in the cafe down the road from the one we were sitting in and I made a promise not to leave. We had been in the cafe for at least an hour and we planned to go out with everyone tomorrow so I decided to head back to, if you could even call it this, home. Lissa said she would pick me up and I could get ready at hers and I agreed, wanting to look my best. If I was going to be friends with them, I promised I would try my best.

I walked down the street back to the shelter. I went inside, pushing myself through the crowds of kids in the front yard, and went to help Sam in the kitchen. With so many mouths to feed, cooking was always a large task and I was happy to help. I entered silently and without acknowledging me, Sam let me get to work so as he cleared up lunch, I prepared dinner.

We worked in silence, letting my mind drift. I though about my conversation but every thought led my back to Dimitri. Every time I thought of him, I felt a pit in my stomach. I wanted to trust him, I did trust him, but I could let myself believe that he cared for me. Yes, he had kissed me but from the way he's acting, I don't think it meant anything to him. The overwhelming sadness grew bigger and I didn't even realise until I felt blood trickle down my finger.

The knife lent gently on my finger over a fine cut. I hadn't been concentrated and had caught my finger instead. I didn't sting but I didn't want to give a bunch of food covered in drops of blood so I hurried to the bathroom and washed my hands.

When I returned, Sam had taken over and he shooed me out the kitchen. 'You need to get a plaster on that and I'm fine to do this myself.' Even though Sam was old, he was a worker. You could probably describe him as a workaholic so I left him to do his work and went to relax in my room.

I lay on my bed, finding nothing else to do but count the amount of damp stains on my ceiling. 15, 19, 12. The number kept changing and it was infuriating but not important- it was just a distractions. I counted over and over again, finally coming to the conclusion of fourteen.

I laughed at myself for spending an hour counting stains but felt like myself again- a bored teenager. They called dinner and I decided to go for once. Sam had finished the lasagna I was making and served each kid a decent portion. There were ten of us in total but we had a constant stream of people coming in and out meaning there were 14 of us sat at the large circular table.

I ate it in just over five bites, I had forgotten my famous Mazur eating skills. Everyone looked at me wide eyed, making me remember that this was the second time in the whole time I've been here that I ate with everyone else. I put on a cocky grin and washed up my plate before strutting out- it felt good to feel in my old skin again. I didn't know where my good mood came from but I was glad for it and ignored my internal nagging about the next day.

I went straight to bed, for once, wanting to be awake for the meet up tomorrow so as soon as I had changed I fell onto my bed and fell into a dreamless sleep.

That was the moment when I realised, I wanted to be myself again.

word count: 1676