Mistake ♦ Romitri

Chapter 26

When we arrived home, the wind howling and the apartment block shaking on its unsteady base, Dimitri and I parted ways rather quickly. I rushed to my bedroom to get my first large bout of homework done, at least trying to be productive for the time being. If it distracted me, I would do it- no matter how much I would prefer to rebel and not do a piece of homework in my life.

That distraction was stripped away as soon as the doorbell rang two sets of footsteps echoed reverberated around the thin walls of the house. 'Rose, Lissa is here to talk to you!' Dimitri called, beckoning from my hovel. I stretched out my arms, sighing heavily and trudged into the living room, looking at Lissa impassively.

I no longer held the grudge I once did but I still had no words to say to her. She had been aggressive, rude and all-round annoying but that didn't mean she wasn't a good friend and I didn't want to hold all of thirty seconds against her for the rest of her life. She was being honest. Honesty was what she did best. But, I couldn't even be sure of what she did. I had assumed and assumptions only led to fights. They never ended the way that one would want them to.

'Hey, Lissa.' I murmured, holding my head low and my shoulders lower, twisting my foot around my leg.

'Rose!' She cried out and brought me into a tight embrace. 'I missed you!' She pulled back, grasping me by my shoulders, beaming. 'You haven't answered any of my messages! I was beginning to worry.' She looked slightly defeated but I paid no notice giving Dimitri a look indicated that I wanted to be alone. He nodded, reading me openly as usual.

So, Lissa and I were alone. I sighed and brought myself to the couch, sitting down roughly, keeping my eyes on her as she wondered aimlessly around the room. Her posture was tall, regal and her blonde, curled hair made me believe a crown was on her head and all in all, it made me envious of her looks but now was no time to think of that as the princess sat next to me.

'I want to know what's wrong, Rose?' She whispered, carefully. She acted as if I was a shard of glass, both ready to kill and to break. Maybe both.

'It's nothing. I just,' I sighed heavily, trailing my eyes to the floor. It was time that I forgot the past and continued in the present. It would be all the kept me sane. 'You said something and...it hurt me. But, I assumed something I shouldn't so I'm sorry I ignored you. It was never my intention to make you worry. I just...have been going through a lot.' I shivered, memories of past events surfacing. I collected them, feeling the guilt hit me like a wave, but threw them away just as I was supposed to. And, suddenly, I felt a lot calmer than before. I no longer felt so alone. Lissa and I had been close, even if only for a short time, and I was glad to have her by my side again.

'Don't worry about it, Rose. I'm just glad you're better.' She smiled widely and I wished to smile back at her. But, I didn't feel better. I felt hope. That was something. But, I didn't feel any better. I still had that repressed urge; I still wanted to let go. But, I denied myself the pleasure and let myself hope. Hope that I would overcome this.

'And, congratulations on getting back into school!' She squealed excitedly, wrapping her frail arms around me. I smiled at her; I couldn't tell if it were real or not anymore. I had lost my way and at this rate, hope really was all I had. I clung to it as if it were a cliff's edge. And that meant, I was about to fall.

Another week passed after that and a routine was made. Dimitri and I, despite never arguing, also never talked. He began to give me money to buy food rather than eating the school slop meaning that I often had a chocolate doughnut for lunch and I had also begun self-defence classes to not only burn some of the weight it was adding on to me but also protect myself if anything were to occur...again.

I was actually training with Dimitri for that but even then, we still never spoke. He gave orders and I followed and our private training sessions were proving more useful than any group session would be but the close proximity and constant contact was beginning to take a toll on both of us.

I had a new found anger now and I had found only one way to let that out. And, it came in the form of multiple fights at school. If not that, arguments with teachers. If not even that, purposefully causing trouble around the school site. I had become the school punk and my nature from before the accident was starting to appear. I was becoming a rebel again and Dimitri was beginning to worry, hadn't that been the reason I had begun drinking in the first place? He was right to worry.

'Sir, I don't think that's correct.' I pointed to the board. We had made it five minutes into the lesson and I was already butting in. 'I believe there is supposed to be an apostrophe there.' I was beginning to disrupt the class and the teacher's flushed cheeks were giving me the satisfaction I needed- craved, even.

'Rose, no there is not.' He was right, I only argued for the sake of it now anyways. I liked to disrupt the class and the other kids, that no longer had a care for learning, were feeding off that time I was giving them. I was freeing them, I lied to myself. I was causing them to fail their exams and it became clear on that Friday when we had all received an 'F'.

Days kept on passing and I just kept spurring the teachers into trying to tell me off, trying to punish me. I laughed in their face. They had no reason to punish me under school regulations. I was simply putting my input in and with the school this was, there was nothing that said I wasn't allowed.

I used the loopholes in the rules to my advantage and everyone knew it. Even Dimitri as he got called in time after time. He was always gracious about it but never bothered to ask me what had happened. He knew well enough. He was feeling what I was feeling himself. But, Dimitri, being who he was, used that anger well. He trained people to get rid of that anger, he was a pro at doing it himself.

Time ticked by and I was losing my hope. That hand on the cliff's edge was beginning to slip. I was about to plummet and soon, someone would have to come and wrap a hand around my arm and drag me up. Dimitri could no longer do that so who could?

word count: 1195

published: 25.03.17