Mistake ♦ Romitri

Chapter 12

We ended up at Dimitri's apartment in minutes, not leaving me much time to think. He led me to his floor in silence, neither of us had the courage to speak. As soon as we entered the living room he sank down on the couch, put his arms on his knees, covering his face with his palms. 'What have I done, Roza.' The nickname sent shivers down my spine but the way he said it made me lose my, already small, smile.

'You've done nothing, Dimitri.' I calmed him, rubbing my palm on his back and went to sit next to him. I ended up laying with my head in his lap and his hand stroking my hair.

'I kissed you, Rose. You're only seventeen, that's seven years different. And now, you are going to be my foster child. I must be sick.' He looked on the verge of tears and I couldn't bear to see it on Dimitri. I brought myself up and brought him into a hug.

'I chose you. I wanted you. Nothing was against my will.' I murmured into his neck. I smelt his aftershave and felt a wave of bliss that was immediately pulled away from me as he took my shoulders and pushed me away.

'I took advantage of you, Rose. I can't do that again. We need to sort out these alcohol problems, I wouldn't be surprised if there was drug abuse in there too. You need to be honest with me. I'm going to gave to look after you and I can't feel what I feel and if this is all just because you have chemicals in your bloodstream, I couldn't do that.'

I sighed. He was right, I had been caught for drug offences and alcohol consumption underage but thats not why I wanted Dimitri. I wanted Dimitri because he was, well, Dimitri.

'Dimitri look at me.' I pulled his gaze to mine. 'I wanted you, sober. I also wanted you drunk but that's beside the point. It was me. You should feel no, I mean no, guilt. Do you understand?' I felt like a mother scolding a child but if this is how I had to get my point across I would do it without a seconds hesitation.

'How can you do this to me.' He murmured, not meaning for me to hear.

'Do what, Dimitri.' He looked shocked for a second.

'How can you only make me fall for you harder when I'm so desperately trying to get rid of these feelings. I don't want to harm you and I don't want to take advantage of you. I don't care if its illegal, I'm just worried about you.' His words made my heart race and I felt desperate to kiss him. He had the exact same look on his face.

'One more. Just one.' I leant in and he didn't resist, coming the rest of the way. He kissed me with such force I felt like I was going to fall but he had grasped my waist and brought me to him. I felt loved, something I hadn't felt in a long time. When he dragged himself away he looked so happy yet so sad.

That felt so right but was so wrong and we both knew it. We quickly sobered up. 'That was the last time we ever kiss, isn't it?' He nodded slowly and I felt like crying but we were going to be strong for each other, we could feel what we felt and if that was going to happen we both had to be strong.

I felt a single tear roll down my and he hastily wiped it away. 'Don't, Rose. I'm going to be with you...just not in the way you- we -want.' I nodded and felt a sob rise in my throat but withheld it and just hugged him, burying my head in my chest.

He stroked my hair, twirling around his fingers. It felt like, for just a moment, we could be a couple. I had to leave soon and everything that happened tonight would be forgotten and we would have to start afresh. 'I love you.' I whispered in his ear, he froze. I then got off him and walked as quickly as possible towards the door. Slamming it behind me, I head towards what I loosely called home.

DIMITRI

She left without another word before I could even say I love you too. I felt the tears that were about to flow in rivers but I ignored them and followed her out. I stayed in the shadows, not wanting her to see me, as she head back to her home. I scolded myself as I looked at how beautiful reminding myself that I was soon going to be her parent. No matter how much I hated the idea, she needed help. If I was the one to do that then I would, for her sake- it didn't matter if I loved her.

When she arrived, I found the window where my old friend Ivan used to spy on me. He used to try to tempt me out of my room so I would come to his house and when we were old enough I did. Well, I ended up buying an apartment with him if that counts.

We were just about to move when he- left. In his death he left me the apartment that I know lived in. That was my memorial for him. He loved the place and would never stop talking about it, saying its where BFF's lived and that he would fix every bit of it. Even in its destroyed state, I began to love it too and when he died, I went through with the buy and cherished it for his sake.

It was never messy, it was always clean. I had even put a few things of Ivan in, including his obnoxious hair brush that he ran through his hair constantly.

Trying to push the memories away, I concentrated on Roza. What was she doing? She rummaged through her drawers and brought out a tin. Inside was something I didn't recognise until she brought out a lighter. I was right- she was taking drugs.

I panicked, I had to come up with a plan- now.

word count: 1052