Mistake ♦ Romitri

Chapter 32

'No! That's unfair!' I shouted, hopefully sending spit into the witch's face. 'You can't just do that!' I threw my arms up in the air, standing my ground. Dimitri stayed put, not moving, looking in a state of prayer, maybe begging me to stop.

'Rose, you were found drinking on the site again. And, if you refuse rehab, then we refuse for you to be allowed on the premises. I know expulsion sounds extreme but it's our only option right now.' Tasha smiled, a smile as fake as snow in the summer. She wished to be kind to me yet all her words came out like venom from a snake. We saw the sub-texts of each other's words and soon there was a deep-rooted hatred in both of us.

'Tasha, I'm sure the school can rethink this.' Dimitri sighed, taking his head out of his hands. 'Rose has nowhere else to go. You're taking her from having an education!' Dimitri pleaded but it was useless, I had to leave and there would be no input from either of us on whether I did or did not.

'I'm not, Dimka.' I scoffed at the name, shooting her a glare. 'She isn't learning a thing here. She has skipped most lessons and she surely isn't paying attention when she does attend.' She made a good point but that did not stop me from snarling. I wanted to leave, now.

Yes, this was my fault. There was no other way to put it. I had been intoxicated on the premises, as they put it, again. Mason sober for once, dragging me along with him. He had soon caught on that the drinking wasn't for fun anymore. He knew something was wrong, he just refused to ask.

'She drunk once, can't you give her another chance?' Dimitri looked desperate, a look that far from suited him, as he clenched his teeth and sought for the answer.

'It isn't just the drinking. You know that too. She isn't behaving at any occasion on these grounds. She's a troublemaker that is refusing to be fixed.' Tasha spoke as if she was high enough to look down at me. If anything, she was the scum. She was cruel, manipulative...or, at least, that is what I saw.

'Fixed? I don't need to be fixed. I just need help! Don't you get that!' I looked at her with disdain. She really didn't understand. She believed me a broken toy, too destroyed for it to even be a thought to fix the damn thing. I wasn't broken, I was dysfunctional. There's a key difference. One just needs a little tweak and everything is perfect again.

I wasn't broken. Broken things were lost forever and I refused to believe I was worthless anymore. I couldn't go through that again. 'I've seen you two together. I'm sure you can figure this out yourselves.' She sighed, a hint of something else there. Dimitri seemed oblivious yet I heard it loud and clear. That was the voice of jealousy, that was the one I held in my hand. That was the emotion I hated most.

'You're jealous!' I announced, laughing maniacally. 'That's what all this is about! You're jealous!' I taunted, Tasha's face flushing red as I did so.

'I am not jealous. What do I have to be jealous of?' That shut me up. I glared. She knew I couldn't say it aloud. She knew I was trapped in silence. She knew I couldn't say a word. She thrived off that. It was the only thing that masked her own unending jealousy.

'You know exactly what you're jealous of.' I spat, taking a step towards her.

'No, I don't.' She smiled wickedly and sat back down in her office chair, examining her nails like a stereotypical primadonna girl.

'Rose, let's go.' Dimitri spoke calmly, standing up and gripping my arm with a painful force before dragging me out. When we had reached a far enough distance, the zen-lessons began. 'Why is it that you do this?' He sighed, leading me to the car.

'Do what?' I asked slyly, joining in on his game.

'What do you think, Roza?' That name. Why use that name. He hadn't used it in so long. He was using it to manipulate me. He knew what it did to me, he knew what it made me believe. He had become just as cruel as the rest of them.

'What do you think, Dimka?' I retorted, trying to carve my words into sharp blades. Dimitri simply sighed.

'How are you the only one that can make me lose my temper?' He asked, shaking his head minutely in disbelief.

'Because you care about me?' I looked up at him, the conversation shifting, we were dancing on knives now. It was still too early to say it yet if we continued on without, it would only rip us apart. We wouldn't be ourselves anymore. We were relying on each other's emotions. The thought made me sick. I was independent, since when had that changed. Since when had I relied so heavily on those three words that have become so insignificant to so many.

'Most likely.' He dead-panned, shoving himself in the car. He didn't want to say them. Had he really lost those feelings? Was I the only one who couldn't let go. As painful as it was, it could easily be true. Dimitri had moved on. Love fades...his has, I guess. Yet, hadn't he just agreed that he cared about me. Wasn't it that he didn't want to care yet, unfortunately for him, he did.

We both hated this. It wasn't just me. We hated this game. We hated each other's presence because we knew we could never be closer. We knew there was an unwritten rule forcing us apart.

We were withering away because we couldn't be together. We would heal, we could leave and we could heal. But first, we would have to break even further and at this point, neither of us could believe it could get any worse.

I slipped into the car and roughly tugged on my seatbelt. 'Why do we do this?' I questioned, my hands trembling as I clasped them on my lap.

'Do what, Rose?' He asked, once again, no trace of emotion in his voice. He was putting his walls up but I would never allow that. I broke down everything in my path and if his walls were included in that, I would be happy to do so.

'This, Dimitri. This.' I motioned to me before motioning to him, joining us with that invisible line that never let us leave. We were both together and distant. We were stuck in limbo, the one place you never want to be.

'I don't know.' He sighed, pressing on the accelerator, driving the car forward.

'Can't we just stop?' I asked, childishly.

'That isn't how it works, Rose. I think we both know that.' He sighed, clenching the steering wheel.

'I guess so. Just know that when I turn eighteen, I'm ending this. Not us. This.' I stated boldly, holding my head high, sure in my thoughts for the first time in a long time.

'I know, Rose. It's what I'm counting on.'

word count: 1186 

published: 07.04.17