Mistake ♦ Romitri

Chapter 17

A/N Warning: this was supposed to be fluff but I seem to be failing in doing that so it turned to some pretty dark angst. Don't worry, no more suicide but I thought I would at least slightly prepare you in advance.

'Dimitri!' I called out when the buzzer rang, 'someone's at the door!' I heard a quiet sigh before trudging footsteps towards the apartment's door. It had been a week since Dimitri and I had been on good terms and we both had decided that a week in private would be best. None of our friends had anything of 'the attempt' I had and it was for the best. Dimitri and I could have our secrets.

'Rose! Can you answer it!' Dimitri called out, confusing me.

'Aren't you at the door?' I called back, grudgingly peeling myself off the bed.

'My hands are full right now.' Silence fell afterwards and I clambered to the door and opened it without a second thought.

'Hi.' I whispered nervously as they stared at me in complete shock. 'Hello!' I said again, waving my hand in front of my faces.

'Rose.' Lissa sounded like she was almost giving me a warning causing me to look at myself. S***. I was only wearing a bra and Dimitri's sweatpants; this did not look good.

'Um...just go inside.' I gasped, flustered before rushing to the bedroom to get changed, ignoring the stares and left Dimitri to answer questions.

Panicked, I rummaged through the wardrobe to find something suitable. How could I have been so stupid? I was still unsure. It was warm and I had taken my top off and the excuse for wearing Dimitri's sweatpants...they were comfortable. I sighed and found myself a pair of jeans and a loose top.

When I entered the room again, I could feel the tension. Dimitri was at the kettle, his hair over his face. Was...he...blushing? I was shocked. It was obvious that he had been interrogated, I just hoped I didn't get the same treatment.

I shook it off and plastered a smile on my face. 'Hiya!' They all turned to look at me, eyes filled with curiosity and something that was closely resembling fear. I sighed and fell down onto the sofa. 'It's not what you think it is?' I murmured, using my lying skills- which definitely needed some work.

Lissa's head shot up, 'NOT WHAT I THINK IT IS!' I flinched suddenly at her raised voice. She noticed my fear but didn't back down. She immediately stood from her place on the sofa and dragged me towards the bedroom.

'Rose, you may like him but you're still a minor! I was just...fantasizing!' She flung her hands in the air to emphasise her point. 'Seven years is a lot, Rose. I know that you have...feelings for him...but you're not supposed to act upon them!' I simply looked at the ground, ashamed. Everything she said was true and it knocked a sense of reality into me. It was still so long until I turned eighteen and even then, going out with my formerly legal guardian- controversial to say the least.

'Nothing is going on, Lissa.' I spat, relaying the slight truth. It was a white lie, I guess. Dimitri and I weren't actively together but we sure as hell cared about each other. We had proven that by the lack of time we had been together...or maybe that was the problem. Dimitri and I hardly knew each other, at least in relationship terms.

Then again, had he not only seen the bad of me. He rarely saw my smile, my so-called 'sass' and clever comebacks. All he had seen was a sobbing mess of a teenager with a bottle of vodka to drown her sorrows.

They seemed to cancel each other out, I couldn't help but feel conflicted. How could I have an opinion on such a balanced argument- but it wasn't. It was so obvious that it was wrong, that no one accepted it. No matter how taboo our relationship was without the age-difference, that was simply all that mattered. Maybe even more so than the guardianship. I guess one means the other, without my age, he couldn't be my guardian at all. I felt like a failure but how was I? I couldn't blame myself for my age, that was senseless.

Lissa looked down on me as if I had somehow lessened in her eyes. The girl that was somewhat forced upon me, that kind, loving girl...she was retreating. She feared me, she feared the unknown. She feared the girl that defined taboo. And she had every right to, she was brought up that way.

I let my eyelids fall, not bothering to peer through my lashes to even glimpse her facial expression. Maybe it was one of disbelief? Maybe on of disapproval? Either way, I didn't want to see it. What I couldn't know was that it was pity. She pitied me because she knew how far I had fallen for Dimitri. She believed this was one-sided. They all did.

Dimitri was so stoic, so incapable of showing his emotions even to his friends that they couldn't notice his lip quirk when he caught sight of me. They didn't notice the light blush that raged on his cheeks like a fire in my eyes but in theirs was simply a rosy pink indicating that the room was just that slightly too warm.

They couldn't see it at all, they were naïve, and as I stormed back to the living room- I understood.

They would never accept this.

The hardly knew me.

I was a stranger to them.

When I entered the room, Dimitri stared at me- fearing the worst. He saw the dread in my eyes. I could see by the way Lissa sauntered in that she didn't notice, nor did she think she did anything wrong. She didn't realise that her face said it all. She didn't realise that my emotional state wasn't stable. In fact, it was more than unstable. My emotions had hit rock bottom.

'Can everyone leave. I need to do something urgent.' I wanted to sound worried, trick them into believing that something had come up but all that came out was a monotone drone, scaring them into leaving. Apologising to Dimitri who didn't spare them a second glance as he analysed me.

'Rose, don't.' He warned, never finishing the sentence for he knew I understood him straight away.

'I know. I won't.' I nodded dejectedly and numbly took to the bedroom, each step feeling more painful than the last. I ignored the following footsteps from behind me. I knew, in my current state, that he wouldn't leave me alone. And although it was for lack of trust, there was something comforting about him being there.

word count: 1118

published: 15/01/17

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