PSYCHOTIC

S e v e n t e e n

Chapter 17:

Six days had passed since Caleb had opened up so deeply about himself and then told Lexi to leave and never come back. Not that's Lexi had been counting the days. Or hours. Or minutes.

Lexi didn't know why she had listened to him. She was stubborn and defiant, that was clear. But there was a pang of hurt that sat within her chest, at the fact that Caleb made it abundantly clear, he didn't want her there. It made it hard for Lexi to believe if it was indeed for her own safety.

Maybe he didn't care for her as much as she did for him. She didn't want to admit it, but she did care for Caleb a little. Maybe she even cared for him immensely, but didn't know of it yet. Wouldn't let herself know of it yet.

Because as soon as she does that, she's pretty much close to admitting she has feelings for a psycho. Whether they're good or bad, they're still feelings and Lexi just couldn't live with herself if she started to feel unacceptable feelings with someone who'd killed innocent people for their own sick and twisted pleasure. What would that make her?

Lexi felt like she grew to have a close connection with Caleb. He affected her. But she finds herself thinking if she had affected him at all. Maybe Lexi was just another target to him, who he'd planned on getting closer to in order to hurt her. Or worse, kill her. It's not like he hadn't done it four times before.

If those were his intentions, they were completely the opposite to Lexi's. She wanted to get closer to him in order to help him.

At first, it was more about her college project. She wanted nothing more than to get the perfect grade. But it grew more complex than that when she got to know him a little more. Well as much as she could get to know him without him sharing anything about himself to her.

She wanted to help him. Help him talk about his experiences and his choices and his past. Getting him to open up would've taken that massive weight off his shoulders and maybe that's all he needed to take the next step back into sanity.

But Lexi thinks to herself that maybe Caleb was too right on her first visit to see him when he had stated how naive she was. Maybe she was naive. Naive enough to think that she could fix someone so broken and soulless. Someone who clearly doesn't care about his own life, so why should she care about it?

Lexi thinks back to a few nights ago when Caleb willingly told her the story of his fucked up past. His mother didn't care for him after what happened with his sister. His father downright hated him. How someone could beat an innocent child so violently is beyond Lexi. You'd have to be pretty fucked up to do something like that.

No wonder he's so fucked up. His whole upbringing was fucked up.

Caleb lost his whole family at the age of 10. And it wasn't an accident or a mistake. His sister died by the works of his own two hands. It's given that it was a horrible mistake but that doesn't stop Caleb from blaming himself. His pregnant mother was taken from him, burned right before his eyes. His father was dead to him before that point anyway. She couldn't imagine what that must've been like. And she didn't want to. That certainly wasn't an accident or mistake. It was on purpose and heartbreaking and just purely horrific.

Having her parents taken away from her in another sick and twisted way. That's messed Lexi up. Not enough to psychologically damage her but enough that it still emotionally hurts.