NEW FRIENDS [joshler]

A Car, A Tørch, A Death

Tyler:

Josh knows.

He knows that I'm not okay.

He knows that Blurry is there, in my dreams, haunting me.

I'm too afraid to sleep anymore, I'd rather listen to him talk in my head then have to see him too. He looks like me, just his neck and hands are black.  

You shouldn't be alive Tyler, you've done nothing with your life.

You're worthless.

Josh doesn't actually like you, he's just using you.

Why don't you just die?

You should die.

I don't want him in my head, but he seems to always be there, looming in the corner until night, then he roams free, wreaking havoc upon my sanity,

that Friday

'Hey, Josh, you wanna come over after school? We haven't had a sleepover in like a week...' I ask, hoping he'll say yes. 'Sure, Ty, but we can only have sleepovers on Fridays so only once a week, but whatever, I still want to sleepover,' he rambles. Sometimes I wonder if God would accept one gay couple so josh and I could just get married so we could hang out more...what can I say, my thoughts are messed up.

Josh comes over after school like always, and my mom is home now because of the baby, but she's a teacher so she usually comes home around 4:00 anyways. We hang out in my room, playing MK and talking.

'I'm so excited to learn recorder, I've never learned an instrument before!' Josh squeals. 'Me too, it'll be different than piano, which will be fun.'

Later, Josh goes over to his house to ask his mom if he can sleepover and get his toiletries and pjs. His mom never says no to us hanging out, neither does mine, actually, they like us too much.

He comes over and we keep talking after dinner.

'Ty, can we talk about something kinda serious for a second?' Josh asks nervously.

...

-

ok um don't hate me

I'm just gonna let you guys read the next chapter bc I'm not thaat mean....usually.

anyways um

lyg 

Sierra ^*^