This chapter will be entirely in Sean's perspective.. ~PEACE ;)
Trigger Warning
"Mark?" I whispered into the gloom. It was 4am according to my phone and small rays of light trickled in through the blinds from the street lamps outside.
His weight shifted against my back. Hold on? He had turned around in his sleep and was now facing the back of my head. Him being taller than me by a few inches, I could feel his soft breath by my ear. That comforted me slightly, having someone so close, even though I didn't like him like that anymore. I'd gave up on my tiny crush the moment he punched me.
"Yeah?" He whispered back. His voice was full of sleep, making it deeper than it had been before.
I squirmed awkwardly. "I'll tell you now.." I said.
"Tell me what?" He sounded much more alert.
"My story..." I sighed and began talking.
~flashback~
I was standing on my own in the yard of my old high school in Ireland. I had just dyed my hair green and I thought it looked pretty cool. But it wasn't up to me.
"Oi! Fag! Why you got a sprout on your head? Who sneezed on you!" It was Gideon and his mates.
I ignored the comment and carried on walking out of the school gate and onto the path. I would just ignore them until I got home. But they weren't up for that.
"Faggot! Come back here!"
"What do you want Gideon?" I asked quietly.
"Oh I just want to talk to my favourite gay boy. That's not bad is it?"
His mates chortled and pushed Gideon forward, towards me.
"Just leave me alone!" I said and began walking as quickly as I could towards my cabin.
Gideon wasn't here to play around though. He shoved me as hard as he could, making me fall face first onto the pavement. I scrambled to my feet and ran as fast as I could to the shortcut though the woods.
"Oh so its a race hey gay boy?" They shouted and followed me in a sprint.
Once in the woods, Gideon caught up and grabbed me by the hair.
He brought his face close to mine and growled, spitting everywhere. "Why don't you just go and die gay boy, not even your other gay friend Josh likes you. Oh wait he's not gay is he?"
"Shut up!" I yelled, tears building.
"He loved me!" I screamed.
"You're wrong, he never loved you, did you Josh?"
Gideon's mates opened up the circle to reveal Josh leaning on a tree opposite me.
"No." He said, eyes full of disgust.
"JOSH! I LOVED YOU, I LOVE YOU PLEASE!" I yelled tears running down my cheeks.
"Josh, pass me the knife!" Gideon grabbed the weapon and pushed me harder against the tree.
"Hold him down boys!" He lifted up my t-shirt at the side and whispered in my ear as I sobbed.
"I'll let the world know what a disgusting piece of shit you are." And then there was pain.
~time shift~
My eyes cracked open slowly, as though they were held down by weights. I dragged myself to my feet, my side aching like hell. I limped as fast as I could but the pain came in waves. Once I reached the edge of the woods, I started to cry again.
He didn't love me
He never loved me
They're right I'm a worthless piece of shit
I fiddled with the lock on the cabin. I told my mum I'd be ok on my own whilst she went down to see my aunt with my siblings but now I needed someone more than ever.
I sat down on the side of my bath and let the tears come, waves and waves of them. Regret, grief that I lost Josh and worst of all self pity. I hated myself so much. I couldn't cope with the emotional pain. Every single day was hate. And I'd had enough.
Suddenly, my side twinged, and I remembered the knife and the boys in the wood. I pulled my t-shirt over my head and stared into the mirror. I turned to the side and fresh tears began to fall.
FAGGOT
Written in capitals all along my side. Without thinking, I searched under my bed for the box of spare razor blades and whispered.
"I'm sorry Ma, sorry dad, I'm so sorry."
Walking into the bathroom, I stared at my reflection and was disgusted. I unwrapped the blade and stared at it shining in the fluorescent light. I pulled it across my wrists, watching the blood flow down the drain. I pressed harder, blocking out the emotions until all I felt was pain. I heard the door of the cabin being unlocked and my mum calling my name.
She won't care
A yell
She's seen the blood
SEAN
She's seen me on the floor, faggot on my side
Faggot
Waste of time
Better off dead
PLEASE COME QUICKLY MY SON
An ambulance
And then
Darkness
YOU ARE READING
I have always understood | A septiplier fanfic COMPLETED.
FanfictionSean McLoughlin has just moved over from Ireland and is already hanging out in the wrong crowd. He knows that there's something different about him and his new found friends might not accept that. But one thing he does know for certain. There's some...
