I have always understood | A septiplier fanfic COMPLETED.

|| Chapter Nineteen || Our little Christmas

Mark's POV:

He looked like the old Jack. The scared, tentative one that bumped into me on that first day. The funny, giggly Jack had faded, leaving the pale beautiful shell laying in that bed. I felt so helpless. I sat there for around an hour, warming his cold hands with my warm ones. I wished so hard that I had been there. I knew he wouldn't cope, he was too sensitive, no matter how much he denied it. And I promised him I'd protect him and hold him but I'd let him down. Seeing him there, without his beanie or his bracelets, showing his exposed arms, it felt so wrong. He should be in my arms, in our room, happy and safe. Not here. Not because of me. I know that I couldn't have known that Felix would have pushed him, but I couldn't help but feel a horrible sense of guilt. I couldn't talk to Jack because he wasn't awake...but I could talk to the person behind this. I stood up stiffly and walked into the corridor where Felix sat slumped on a hard plastic chair. I pulled him up and pushed my face close against his.

"How dare you. I told you to leave him alone." I spat.

For the first time in a long time, Felix looked weak, his hair plastered back, his breathing shallow.

"I didn't mean to. I s-swear... I wanted to..."

"You wanted to what? Huh? Kill my best friend. I love him Felix and you..." My voice broke and I composed myself.

"Oh god... Did I... Did I kill him?" Tears started pouring down his face and he shook. I suddenly felt a strong sense of pity and gave him a quick hug.

"No..no you didn't thank god." I whispered.

"I'm so sorry Mark, for everything. I almost killed Jack and I pushed you two away. I ruined everything." He sobbed into my shoulder.

"You brought us closer Fe. It's fine... I forgive you and I know Jack will too."

"Thank you Mark." He stuttered.

"Now go home and sleep. And keep your mitts off Jack. He's mine."

He smiled slightly and nodded, retreating down the hallway. I sighed and walked back into the ward.

Taking my seat next to Jack's mum, I took his hand again and waited until he would wake up.

~time skip~

I was in that foggy place where you're half asleep when I felt Jack's hand twitch in mine. I jumped up and looked at him. His eyes were open and he was watching me sadly.

"J-jack, you're ok... I'm so sorry. I never should have left. It's all my fault...." Tears began to fall and I could see Jack tearing up.

He struggled to talk but his throat was rough and painful and all he could do was wince and groan.

"Hey, hey don't talk, it's ok, I'm here." I said, rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand.

"Why didn't you tell me...You could have called me. I-I would have come home. I'm s-so sorry." I sobbed.

"N-no...." Jack forced out. I smiled, hearing his beautiful voice after all this time.

"I was stu-pid, I couldn't do i-it without y-you." He stuttered.

"I know, I know" I whispered soothingly.

"Felix should have....he should have left me."

I gasped. "Don't you ever say that." I growled, pulling him into a hug. "What would I ever do without you...."

"Be better o-off."

I shushed him gently and held him as he cried into my arms. He had broken down, back where we started. But I could do it, I could bring him back the way I had before. I'd never let him go when he was so weak. He'd get stronger and we'd cope, I just knew it. But now, I needed to help him.