Denying Dreams

10.

Weeks past and in finally done with my first finals. I study the most and best I can, I always do. The semester ended with my grades good too. I got 4 A's and 3 B's. I think I could do better but it is what it is.

In walking home from school with Niall and Liam. They know I'm gay and are fine with it, it's just that sometimes I see Niall get uncomfortable sometimes. He's not homophobic though.

"Hey did you see how Janice looked today?", Liam talked to Niall about, "straight things".

"Duh I saw her. Her skirt was blowing up every time the wind hit her from the back. I told her and she thanked me saying I was her Savior from embarrassment.", Niall replied looking up like he was imagining it.

"I wish I was the wind.",Liam did the same thing and they both inhaled.

"Why don't both of you just jerk off to her together?", I say and they just laugh.

" Nah, I wouldn't want him to hear my noises.", Niall pats Liam's chest.

"Yeah because you probably sound like a walrus having sex with a lawnmower.", I joked and started making weird loud noises.

" Shut up Lou!", he playfully pushed me and I laughed even more.

We talked about video games and how a few nights from now to ask our parents if we got have a sleepover at Liam's house. Since its now Christmas vacation.

I went home and went upstairs, stopping in the hallway to get a book.

I try to keep a smile on my face for them. I don't want them to see me sad or know that I'm slowly falling into depression.

All because the first person that actually loved me turned their back on me. I wish I could see him again just to slap him and then kiss him one more time. The times we did kiss it wasn't like a full make out session or anything but it was something. It still meant something to me knowing that he wanted to kiss him. That he wanted to hold my hand and act stupid ass fuck with me.

I miss him. I miss our fun.

My mom and Richard got home after I finished my homework and she came in crying.

What's wrong?

"Mom are you OK?", I asked her and she only sat on the couch without looking up.

" It's ok honey, he'll be fine.", he said to her.

" Mom! ", I shook her shoulders and she brought her hands from her face and looked me in the eyes while I was in front of her.

" Louis, you remember Harry don't you?"

"Yes. Of course I do. You know how I feel about him mom.", she looked so sad even more and my eyes widened.

" What happened to him?", she shook her head and grabbed her hair.

"Louis I'm so sorry baby.", she took my hand and tried to calm down a bit.

" Mom what happened!?!", my voice getting louder.

"Harry he and his mom were in the hospital. Um, I know you don't know this, but he had cancer honey.", my heart just stopped.

Had?

"What do you mean he had cancer?"

"Lou, he, he passed a few hours ago.", I snatched my hand out of hers and she only cried harder.

" No he didn't. ", I shook my head.

This has to be a lie. This can't be happening.

" You're lying! He's not dead mom and he never had cancer!", I yelled at her.

"Louis calm down please. Yes it's true if you want we can take you to the hospital now.", Richard stood up but I ignored him.

"No! He's not dead!", I ran out the front door and kept running.

Running like the devil was chasing me. Because really, that's what it felt like.

Hell just came down on me.