For you? Anything {Hide X Kaneki}

Chapter 15

Kaneki's POV

The days slip through my grasp, as time goes on. It's been months, or at least I think, since Hide and I were separated. I can see it clearly, the memory of my hope being crushed..

My whole body froze, fear quickly spread throughout me and I felt sick to my stomach. I wasn't sure what to do or how to fix any of this and before I knew it my world was turning black as I grew dizzy and colapsed onto the cold hard floor.

Yes of course I remember, how could I forget? Afterall.. The last thing I saw was the concered eyes of none other than Hideyoshi Nagachika, my lover and my bestfriend.

He also acted like a mom at times always so concerned about me. I tried to give a small laugh at the memories but all I felt was pain and I started to cough up a bit of blood.

"Come on hang in there.." I said it to no one but myself, I knew I was going to die. It was a sad but unavoidable thing. It's okay though, death is unavoidable for everyone, It just happened to come a little early for me.

I wish I could say I'm happy though or at least content with my life so far, but I'm not and that's the truth. There is so much more I wanted to do and see.

And how pathetic I'm even going to die a virgin, again I tried to laugh at that but it only resulted in pain. And of course it made me instantly think if Hide. "Like I wasn't already thinking of him enough, stupid brain," I heaved a heavy sigh and looked to the floor, "you're going crazy Kaneki..  ...I know." I said once again to myself. Talking to myself isn't going to get me anywhere and I knew that but I couldn't help it.

I tried looked back on the good memories in my life. I remember my mom.. Although those memories don't end happily.  I thought of Hide... Of some of the long nights we spent together, staying up at my house watching movies on the couch, laughing, always blushing. One time he fell asleep in my lap and I sat there playing with his hair until I fell asleep as well.

When we woke up we were both so embarrassed that we hardly talked for the rest of the day. He awkwardly got off my lap grabbed his things and said he needed to go, all the while figiting and blushing madly.

It felt like the end of the world then but looking back on it now I can't help but smile.

And oh were there so many more memories.. Like one time Hide had bet me he could eat a whole chocolate cake to himself. He bet me a good chunck of yen and knowing he couldn't do it I agreed to the bet.

After only a few pieces he was already so tired of eating it, "this was a bad idea I'm never going to be able to finish this," he has whined. I only laughed at him and ate a piece of the cake. He wasn't able to finish it and yet he didn't ever keep his end of the bargin. I really didn't mind though.

More memories came to mind and it almost felt as if I was reliving them. One year he had made me dress as a cat for halloween. That had to of been one of the most embarrassing things ever. I had cat ears, which were black with small tuffs of white hair and a skiny black tail along with some sort of velvet feeling body suit.

I looked absolutely ridiculous and I was blushing so much you could see it on camera and I promised I would wear it but only for Hide and I wouldn't go in public. Of course Hide being Hide he quite literally dragged me or more of carried me to a costume party.

Looking back at it we acted a lot like a couple even when we weren't dating, I had never thought much of it other than the fact that we were friends for so long, but he would cuddle me and cook for me, we always did things together. We honestly sounded a lot like a couple, so I guess in a way things had only gotten more intimate after we started dating.

It was little things but of course they made all the difference. Things from pecks on the lips so sweet long kisses.

Although we never had sex, Hide did give me blowjobs quite often and let me just say they were amazing. The first time ahe gave ne one I thought I would die from blushing, and what a horrible way that would have been to die. Blushing to death while getting a blowjob. The thought alone made me visibly cringe. However, doing so sent a small shock of pain starting at my head and moving through my nerves.

Well the memories are nice and all but its all on the past lets get back to now. I've been locked in some sort of basement, let me try and paint a picture for you.

I was first dragged in here by a taller man, my hands were chained as well as my feet and I could already feel the metal slowly digging into my skin. I could only shuffle my feet and it gave the whole situation more of a gloomy feel. The man had lead me down some stairs and closed the door behind him. It wasn't until after the door was shut that the gift of sight was mine once again as he took the sweat and tear stained blind fold off my eyes.

Beams of light came through a small window hardly the size of my face and was up high well out of reach anyways. It lit up the basement very minimally especially because it seemed that it was either overcast or getting late.

I saw several cells that were divided by old rusty bars. This place looked like a prison from a horror movie. The floor was wet and slimy to my bare feet and civeres in dirt and mud. The walls and floor were old cracked stone but out of everything the smell was the worst.

It was an old musty smell like old wet clothes and it was extremely strong, as well as that it smelled like death. There was no other way to put it, it smelled like the place was packed tight with dead animals.

If you've never smelled a dead animal then let me explain, I straight up threw up because the smell was so strong. I had never experienced such a horrible smelling room in my whole life.

Once my eyes adjusted more to the dim light I realized just how big the place was, reasonably big however the cells were extremely small.

I was yanked by the hard by the hair and slapped in the face after making eye contact with the tall man.
"You are pathetic scum, and your eyes should never meet mine. You are nothin but a monster!"

I almost laughed at that, almost. After all I knew I was a monster..

I did however hear a deep chuckle from one of the cells and then the voice continued to say, "don't worry kid he says that to all of us."
"You!" the tall man yelled pointing at the man from the cell, "SHUT UP!!"

"He gets rather annoyed when I'm defiant, and of course I do pay the price but," he gave another deep chuckle, "I suppose I'm going to die anyways so it's worth it to fuck around a bit before then, right?"

This man had ended up helping me, we bacame friends and while he was older than I, he treated me with decent respect. He did however, love to "fuck around" as he called it, always being defiant and making jokes and such.

Eventually we came up with an escape plan together, it took a long time to plan and over all it was extremely risky and unlikely we would make it out alive.

I'll cut all the drama and get to the point, he escaped and I didn't but he did, promise to get me out of here.
I'm not sure if he was going to try and keep his promise, but I was dying now anyways.

This place was basically another way for them to get information off of us, the way they did so however was quite frightening. Ghoul fights.. To the "death" well I got taken out of there on the brink of death. It was the first time I had lost to a fight, and I was taken out if the arena and left in a cell to die. Alone.

A lonley painful death, thinking of none other than Hide.

A/N
Decently long chapter? And the first time explaining what Kaneki has been going through after they separated. Sorry if I'm a little late with updating, I'm extremely busy and stressed :/
This is a nice way to relieve some of that that though!