Chapter 10

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A/N- There is a suicide scence just beware, also i've never written one, so if you have any feedback to make it better i would love that because i have struggled to edit that scene

Christmas break is just a week away. Since Jamie told me about everything I've been hoping to find Miranda, but she's nowhere to be found.  It's been two weeks, and I've gotten used to the idea of Jamie as dead. I've been keeping distance from Landon, I just can't get used to the idea of him like that. I've come to terms with everything but I still felt like there was some information missing. I knew Miranda had all the answers…I just needed to find her. But she wouldn't show herself. I was dropped off at school by my brother since he was still here. I got out of the car and bumped into Landon.

"Sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going." I said looking down.

"It's okay Poppy. Actually I've been meaning to talk to you, but you seem to disappear all the time." Landon said.

"Yeah, I've been busy." I said.

"Since I've got you here let's take a walk and talk." Landon said putting his arm through mine.

"Okay." I said following because I had no choice.

            We walked not through the front doors but to the side of the school. We sat under a tree and he started to make small talk. I nodded and laughed occasionally.

"So I do have something I need to talk to you about." Landon finally said trying to get to his point.

"Go on."

"I know you know the truth about everything. Yes, I am dead just like Jamie. I know that he has probably lured you into siding with him but hear me out. Our breed fights with theirs and we want freedom just as much as they do. We don't want to kill people, but do to keep our numbers up against the Walking Skeletons. If you choose us you will be able to keep Jamie here with you on earth. He will leave if you free them you know?"

"I realize that. Look, I hear you out, okay? But I have not made my decision yet, so thank you for enlightening me with your side." I said getting up.

"Why are you being so cold? I never meant to hurt you. I knew you would run so I grabbed you forgetting my claws…" Landon said looking down.

"You sure didn’t forget you had them when you attacked Jamie." I said still turned away from him.

"We are rivals, we are supposed to fight." Landon said.

"Soon the fight will be over." I said running away this time.

            At that moment I knew what I had to do. I had to kill myself. I couldn’t let some ghost kill me, it would probably be painful. I had to kill myself so the breeds would stop the fighting and killing. One person's loss to save thousands is a good percentage. The only problem is I've never thought about killing myself and didn’t know how. I mean, yeah, I could kill myself, but how do I kill myself without pain? Pills. I would do it tonight. I have to write letters to those who I love. I wouldn’t want to leave them without them knowing it wasn’t their fault. I ran into Jamie at lunch since he came in late. We talked some but I was quiet trying to prepare myself for what I was about to do. I told Jamie he didn’t have to come over today and got a ride home from Landon. I hope Jamie doesn’t question my actions…I wouldn’t want him to be the one to find me dead. Landon dropped me off with no questions asked.

             I went inside seeing if anyone was home; no one was. I wrote a letter addressing everyone I knew, and explained my reasoning. I left it on the kitchen table. Walking over to the drawer with medicine I opened it and grabbed the bottle of Advil PM. I got a glass of water and took it to my room.

            Sitting down I opened the bottle of pills spilling them out on the floor. Closing my eyes, I took a handful and stuffed them in my mouth and tried to swallow all of them with the water. I felt tired and dizzy after a little bit so I lied on the ground. I opened my eyes and saw some pills were still left. I couldn’t keep my eyes open for long though.

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            Stupidly I had to make up a test I missed so I couldn’t take Poppy home. I saw her get in Landon's car and that made me angry. Walking to take my test I was determined to make it to her house to make sure she was safe. I didn’t want him to hurt her. Once I was done I rushed to my car and drove to her house. I got in the driveway and opened the door. Walking into the kitchen I saw a letter on the table. Skimming over it I rushed up to her room tears filling my eyes. I threw the door open and found her lying on the ground, her body spread out, with pills surrounding her with water spilled on the floor. I grabbed her and shook her, no movement. I started to cry harder. She looked so fragile…so sad.

"Poppy! Poppy! Please! Wake up! Don't die on me!" I sobbed.

             Sticking my finger in her mouth I tried to make her barf. No luck. I desperately tried two more times and on the last time I tried, my finger was far enough down and she finally puked. She started coughing and tears rolled down her eyes. She looked at the floor in her room and she started to shake her head, and she fell over. I caught her and stuck my finger back down her throat and she puked again. More white vomit came out. She started to cry even more. I grabbed her and took her to her bathroom. Washing my hand off, I grabbed a cloth and soaked it putting it on her forehead. I cleaned off her face with a tissue and she sat obediently.

             We were both crying, sitting on the floor of her pearly white bathroom. She looked so upset. Her eyes were covered by water and her face was red. Her clothes were covered in puke and her hair was a mess. I was hesitant to leave her, so I turned my back to the door and walked backward keeping my eyes on her the whole time. I quickly opened a drawer and grabbed some new clothes and sprinted back to her. Nothing had changed; she still looked sad and broken. I took her clothes off and made her put on fresh clothes. I heard the door open downstairs. I remembered Poppy left a letter down there! Torn between leaving Poppy to get the letter, or to stay here with her making sure she didn’t try to down more pills, I decided to stay. I heard footsteps running madly up the stairs. A voice was calling out Poppy's name.

            Getting up, I went to the door of the bathroom to see who was rushing to Poppy's door. A broken down brother stood in the door. Connor saw me and I nodded for him to come here. Connor rushed past me seeing Poppy stone like on the floor with new clothes on. Connor dropped to his knees crying still.

"I got her to puke up most of what she swallowed." I said shakily.

"Why? Why Poppy?" Connor asked tears flowing down his face hugging Poppy.

            Connor and Poppy cried for a few minutes. I couldn’t understand why Poppy would want to kill herself.

"The Gift…" Poppy said through falling tears.

"Why would you kill yourself over the gift?" Connor asked with such confusion.

"It would stop the war." Poppy relied in a monotone voice.

"That is why you tried to kill yourself?" I exclaimed. Poppy nodded, tears starting to fall again.

            I rushed over and hugged her. She hugged me back. Connor joined the hug and we all sat there crying. I've never felt so sad in my death. I almost lost her…partly because of me, because I am part of this war.

"I'm so sorry Poppy." I said through the tears.

"I'm sorry too." Poppy replied.

            We all looked up at the same time when we heard the door open again.

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