A Rouge with Powers

Chapter 8

"We need to talk about us." The second those words left his mouth, I froze. In this particular moment my mind froze. Not exactly knowing how to continue or respond, never actually knowing the right away to deal with confrontation, especially when it comes to the person I was meant to mate with. I have been dreading this conversation since the day we met, but knew it had to be done. I sat back down quietly waiting for his next words, watching as Jax's left leg starts to jump and his hand runs through his hair. He seems to be nervous, but to be fair no wolf is ever ready to reject their mate. In my case though, I am ready to be rejected, ready to be alone and try to find someone to settle down with in the human world. It's frowned upon in the Lycan world, but wolves who have lost their mate will sometimes do this so they don't have to be alone forever. Usually wolves who lose their mates tend to go more towards a darker route though.

"Most of my pack still believes that you're too dangerous to trust. I mean can you blame them though? Every rouge to have set foot on my territory has done something horrible, nothing good has ever happened when a rouge is here." His hatred for rouges seeps out with every word, the same statement I heard him say earlier too. I stay silent, ignoring the stabbing pain in my heart. But he is right, it's rare to encounter a rouge who has no ill intentions, me being the one in a million.

"So can you blame me or any other wolf for having doubts?" He asks, watching me, waiting for that one indicator that he was right to not trust me. I look back to my room, back to Jennifer and how both of us can never know what it's like for wolves to treat us like equals because in their eyes, we aren't. Maybe I deserve it, the hatred, the cold attitude, but not her. She was never supposed to be treated like this, not the daughter of a Beta. But of course, the rouges did this to her.

"I don't blame anyone." I say clenching my fists. My family put so many packs through so much destruction, so much pain.

"I can't even imagine what you have to go through, having a mate as disgraceful as me, a rouge." I say with just as much hatred that he gave to me. Jax breaks his gaze on me and looks down at the floor. His breathing calm but sharp, his fists clenching and clenching, his leg not jumping anymore but still as a rock.

"Year after year I planned my revenge for the rouges that took my parents, it almost consumed me. But one day, something happened that changed my whole perspective on everything. Made me realize that just because a few rouges do such outrageous things like murder, doesn't mean that all rouges are bad. Sometimes I tend to forget that when it comes to my parents." Jax sits back on his chair, gazing at me, waiting for my response. My mind is reeling with this new information, I was mentally preparing myself for a rejection, not this. 

"Even though you are a rouge and still, no one really knows who you are. You're a complete mystery, it's like you didn't exist until I found you that night. Either way, my pack is still having trouble figuring out whether or not it's smart to trust you yet." He continues when he figured that I wasn't going to speak, how can I though? Now knowing that there is possibility that Jax isn't going to reject me. How could he not reject me? Wouldn't it just be safer if he just went with the option that will keep his pack happy? The option to turn away the rouges that have started trouble for them, or will start trouble? Doesn't matter where I go, if I stay somewhere too long my parents will eventually find me, the have spies everywhere. It would be smart to keep moving if I want to stay hidden and prevent my parents from attacking this pack for hiding me from them. 

"Aside from my pack, I still don't know if I can trust you. I mean you haven't given me any reason not to but I can't help it, you're a rouge. But lately I've noticed things that a true rouge would have done differently." By his words, my head shoots up to Jax in confusion but also curiosity. There has never been a situation where someone told me that I don't act the way a rouge should act, so this obviously intrigues me.