Lost Hope Isn't What I'm Worried About

Doorway to a Fortress

Sam was stirred awake by the buzz of his phone against the stand beside the hotel bed, letting out a grunt as his eyes slowly opened, reaching out and grasping at the phone. He had barely registered that it was Dean's caller I.D. before he pressed talk and held it up to his ear.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, only to blink himself more awake when he heard nothing but silence on Dean's side of the call for several seconds. Hushed words could be heard from Castiel in the background, followed by a more unfamiliar voice, both inaudible to Sam.

"The police are considering you a suspect in Gabriel's disappearance," Dean said as soon as Sam heard the clicking of a door, his voice strained and full of concealed rage.

"What?" Sam  responded, sitting up in alarm. He felt more than saw Lucifer shift from his seat in the corner chair of the hotel, the glow from his wings providing a slight light that cast everything in a shade of red, "What do you mean I'm a suspect?"

"Sam...they found something that you should never have," Dean snapped, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what the man was talking about. Sam didn't even respond, rather just ended the call and switched off his phone, his eyes alight in a panic as he ran his hands through his hair, swearing when he realized he had forgotten about the pills in his cabinet.

"Sam? The angel block is being pressed against in your mind. What did they find?" Lucifer asked, not at all sympathetic for the man, just curious. Sam ignored him, turning away and getting out of the bed, going to the bathroom and shutting the door.

It didn't stop Lucifer, who teleported right into the room without any sort of trouble, his arms crossed in mild annoyance, "I assume it's not your hunting equipment. Only someone stupid would leave any behind," Lucifer commented almost nonchalantly, making Sam growl in frustration at the fallen angel.

"It was cyanide, okay?" Sam snapped, his hands clenching the edge of the bathroom sink, glaring at the Devil through the mirror's reflection, ignoring his own haunted look that dragged at his face and made his skin pale.

Lucifer merely cocked an eyebrow, tipping his head, "Cyanide? Why do you have poison just lying around?" The fallen angel questioned, and Sam looked away, the block on his mind pulsing and causing a throbbing in his head, right behind his eyes.

Sam pressed his palm into his forehead, his eyes snapping shut with pain, "Because if Dean was going to die then so was I!" Sam snarled, feeling his eyes well with tears as the block gave one final pulse through his head before it disintegrated, leaving nothing behind but a sense of emptiness.

"Death? I never pegged you as that type of human," Lucifer said, not perturbed at all by information. Sam took a deep breath, the pain slowly fading away, letting his hand return back to the sink edge to grip it.

"If Castiel was dead, would you have done the same thing?" Sam asked, and silence fell over the two, Lucifer's shocked face the only thing Sam was focusing on. The fallen angel's expression fell into one of sadness before the devil let out a mirthless laugh, shaking his head.

"You have me there, Sam. It's true," Lucifer said, though he seemed much more at peace with own opinion than Sam had been with his, "The gratitude for Castiel then?"

"I was dying the moment Dean's heart monitor went flat," Sam responded, feeling a bit heavier as he opened the door to the bathroom, making his way to his bed and crawling in, the warmth doing nothing but feeling as if it were smothering him.

"Cyanide in gum?" Lucifer guessed as soon as Sam tried to pull his mind off the topic, obviously reading his mind. Still, he didn't say anything when the fallen angel sat on the edge of the bed, looking out to the window where bits of moonlight peeked through the curtains.

"What do you plan to do about the police?" Lucifer asked, seeming a bit more concerned than he had before. Sam just shrugged and let out a sigh, pulling the pillow close and cradling it in one arm while the other rest on top.

"I'll worry about that when Gabriel is safe," Sam commented, and said nothing more as he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. All the while, Lucifer continued to watch the piece of the outside world he could see, narrowing his eyes when he saw yellow eyes watching him back.