Lost Hope Isn't What I'm Worried About

Losing Him

Flames sparked across through the air, driven by their hunger as they consumed the wood underneath Lucifer's body, arching up into the night sky and send crackling forms of blood red light through the sky when it touched the fallen angel's skin. Sam watched with a sad expression reaching his gaze as Dean held Castiel gently as the man silently wept, his cheeks stained with tears as he sat in a tiny ball in Dean's lap on the chair, shivering with grief and illness.

Chuck stood beside Sam, his lips pressed into a thin line as they watched the burning flames, tears sliding down his cheeks, though they were hastily wiped away after a moment, clearing his throat and looking at Sam with some semblance of a grief-stricken smile.

"Thank you for bringing him back," Chuck whispered softly, his voice broken sounding as he let out a soft sniff and wiped at his eyes again, taking a deep breath to fight back more tears, "It's better...this way."

Sam nodded, clearing at his throat as he felt the sadness welling in his throat. Despite Lucifer's contempt for what Sam had been working towards, he had saved Gabriel's and Castiel's life, and he could never thank him enough for that, "Where does he go now that he's...gone?" Sam asked softly, looking over at Chuck with a wary eye.

The man took in a deep sigh, a bit of relief crossing over his face, as if the thought warmed his heart, "He will go to the heaven I created for angels. He deserves it after what I made of him," Chuck answered, letting out a heavy sigh, and Sam realized that Lucifer wasn't the only thing that was weighing down Chuck's mind.

"Is Gabriel doing okay?" Sam asked, his voice almost sullen as he glanced towards the window of the room that the angel had locked himself in. He had retreated to it as soon as they reached Chuck's house, and not come out for anything.

"He blames himself. I worry for him," Chuck said softly, the sadness in his gaze only growing in intensity, "I wish there was more I could do, but he must carve his own path..."

"Then why did you tell me he couldn't be saved?" Sam asked, a bit of bitterness in his voice as he watched the way Chuck's face fell. He looked so...resigned to his fate, and Sam couldn't help but be a little guilty in knowing that he was the one that put that expression there.

"Without Gabriel having a will to live, he couldn't be," Chuck answered, glancing towards the window himself and watching as there was a small glow of gold, the hint of wings just beyond the curtains, "He didn't want to be saved, didn't think he deserved it. He still doesn't, but protecting you was the only way he was able to hold on."

"And now that the danger has passed?" Sam asked, feeling a lump form his throat at the very thought. Chuck didn't answer, but the look in his eyes said it all.

Sam, with one last glance to the rising flames, hurried into the house, climbing the stairs that led to the spare bedroom where Gabriel was hidden. He knocked quietly, and when he received no response, picked the lock, letting the door swing open with a slight whine of the hinges as he entered.

Gabriel sat on the bed, looking so tiny compared to the enormous expanse of wings behind him, six in all, each one fluttering and shivering with their own sadness as he picked at the sheets underneath him. Sam took a deep breath before crossing over to the bed, reaching out and just letting his hand brush Gabriel's hair, sliding down to his neck and pulling himself close to kiss Gabriel on the forehead.

"This won't work, Sam," Gabriel whispered, but Sam only sat in front of him, half turned to fit better on the bed as he just kept his hand there, letting his chin rest on top of Gabriel's head.

"It will," Sam whispered back, letting his other hand reach out, seeking Gabriel's and linking them together. He could feel the whisper of Gabriel's grace, agitated and thrumming against his own soul, and he squeezed his hand, attempting to soothe that aggravation.

"Not now. Not after this," Gabriel countered, and Sam had never seen the man so broken before, "I might have hated Luci, but he was my brother, and it's my fault that he died. How would you feel if Dean had died because of you?"

Sam sighed, cupping Gabriel's cheek and stroking his thumb along the bone, forcing those beautiful eyes to meet his, "I wish I could change what happened, and I'm sorry I can't, but..." Sam trailed off, his brows furrowing for a moment before his eyes brightened and he leaned forwards, kissing Gabriel before standing.

"I'll be right back. Stay there," Sam said, leaving a very sad and very confused Gabriel alone. He knew that it probably wasn't best at the moment, but he had an idea. Something that could fix this all.

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"Are you sure you want to do this, Sam?" Chuck asked, staring at the man with an incredulous expression as the flames began to die down behind them. Sam nodded, and he didn't look back until he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning back to see Dean.

"You can't be serious, Sammy. You just want to hop out and leave? What about hunting? What about me?" Dean asked, a desperate look on his face when he met Sam's gaze. Sam swallowed, but he stayed strong in his decision, shaking his head.

"Come with me," Sam begged, looking first at Dean, then at Castiel watching them with narrowed eyes, "We could be happy together. There...we could have normal lives."

Dea watched him for a minute with dark eyes before turning to Chuck, an accusing look in his face, "And you're thinking about doing this? Sending Sam and Gabriel off to who-knows-where knowing absolutely nothing?" Dean spat, the worried look in his eyes betraying his anger. Chuck merely watched him before nodding after a moment.

"I believe that this is the best thing for Gabriel. He needs to have a chance at a real life. If something is not done, he won't live much longer anyways," Chuck said, bringing a silence out of all standing there at this moment, a harder look crossing over into his eyes, "It will take me at least tonight to create this world. Please, be prepared by tomorrow morning.

At that, Chuck walked away, and Sam gave Dean one final encouraging look before running towards Gabriel's room, taking a deep breath to prepare for a lot of explaining.