Untitled Letters

May

May 04, 2016
Dear you,
I learned my lesson. Next time I fall in love, i'll keep it inside. No one must know about it, not even that guy. However, I doubt that there will ever be a chance like this. I feel like I won't be able to open my heart to anyone else. it's damaged. And, I continued hoping that you'll come back to me and give us a shot. I realized that I've become as obsessed and desperate as the pathetic people I know. I don't want to be like that. But I want you to know that I learned how to fight. For now I guess I'll just stop pestering you. Maybe, that's how you feel. I don't know when this would end and I'm so scared. But, if ever you and I do not cross paths again, then, I'll rather be alone, knowing I'm safe on my own.

Love always,
M

May 7, 2016
Dear you,
I miss you! I thought I was fine... I had my family and friends. I thought I could live my life just like before when you're not yet someone to me. But, now, I need you. You're the one I love. And, I am so scared of the guy who is not you. I hate to think the fact that you, who I love, doesn't want me and the guy who likes me isn't the one I want. He keeps on pushing it but I reject! I can't force myself to like him. I just don't. I wish he would just leave me alone. I hate this feeling. I'm looking like a bad person. I know I'm no different from him. I know I also bother you. Then, I feel guilty for ignoring him and hurting his feelings but the truth is I just want him to stop. I wish you could save me from him. Yet it hurts even more because I know you want me to do the same. I know you want me to stop this. Don't worry. I'll just keep on missing and dreaming of you.

Love,
M

May 11, 2016
Dear you,
I'm not really sure what you really want. You apologize to me but I can't find anything to accuse you. I don't know how you see me. But I hope you see me differently. I'm trying to accept my situation, my fate. But the more you show me kindness, the more you make me change the way I see myself.

I don't want to be a pathetic person. I don't want to look like a fool anymore cause you boys played me. I just hope you're safer to play with. Unlike someone I met. And I hope I don't end up like the guy whose heart I broke (unintentionally, of course). I didn't want to make him wait but it was his choice. Maybe, my choice was to wait too. But you didn't tell me not to.

Love always,
M