Untitled Letters

December

December 29, 2016

Dear you,

Hi! How are you? I always pray that you'll be safe... That you'll be okay... Away from any form of danger whether physical, mental, social or spiritual. I don't know? Just be okay! (Sounds lame, huh?)
Anyways, I heard some news. I heard that you have a new girlfriend. A couple of months ago, you told me you didn't have one and maybe (well, honestly) I was hoping you'll wait for me. I guess that didn't happen and you chose her. Well, I'd like to say that I am really happy for you. :) I hope you'll be happy and maybe this will keep you smiling.
She'll be lucky to have you and perhaps there's also a good reason why you chose her. She must be really pretty and tall and smart and kind. I would completely understand. Maybe she won't hurt you. She won't, right? I think I should be complacent certain that she'll keep you happy no matter what. But I don't want to meet her though. I don't have to, you understand.
But that's not all I want to say. I want to say that I can be your friend. You don't have to be shy in front of me. I really want to be your friend. Because I never really got to know you better. And, if you have problems, you can always talk to me. But, it's still up to you. And, you don't have to tell me. I know that I should stay away now and I will.
I hope you'll remember me. Maybe it's not mine to know whether you liked me or not, even once in your whole life; but I am sure that I will NEVER forget my memories of you.
This should be easy for me because I have been rejected many times and I made a lot of mistakes. My heart got broken countless of times but I was able to move on... So...
This should be easy for me.

But then, I guess not. Maybe I deserve this. Because I, Myself, broke someone else's heart and I really find him exasperating. And I swear that even if he's the last guy on earth, I'd rather die. (Hope it made you laugh.)
Hey! I may not be as pretty or tall or smart as your new girlfriend but I can still be your friend if you want me to. And, I'll be just here... Waiting. I don't think I'll ever find another guy like you who gave me beautiful memories & dreams. I hope you'll still remember those times. I'll never forget that moment when I turned around and found you so near. That was the beginning... I couldn't explain it but I knew it was something. They told me not to think or assume you have feelings for me. But then, there's the time I tried singing in the choir. I saw you sitting near the altar. You should've seen your face! You were so serious! Hahaha! But, when I came down, you just suddenly smiled (Sigh!) I hope you know now that you have a killer smile, that made me fall in love in the first place. So, should I still think you don't have feelings for me? Was it for me?
And I remember the time you helped me and I couldn't sleep because I wanted to thank you so badly and that's why I had to give you that strawberry key-chain.
Well, I guess that's it! Just... Don't worry about me and don't you dare blame yourself for anything. Like I told you, I'm used to this.
So, maybe... This is goodbye? If it is, it was nice meeting you and if not, I hope to see you again and know you better.

Take Care Always! God Bless!

Love,
M