4:27am

Chapter 8

They say the heart controls emotions. That while the brain deals with the rational thoughts, the heart allows you to be emotional. 

But they're wrong. 

It's the soul. 

The soul is a bubbling cauldron of love, hate, compassion and anger. A sky full of swirling emotions and feeling.

Bucky often found himself wondering about the people he had killed souls. And he often wondered about his own. 

He knew his soul was horrific. The amount of lives, both innconet and guilty, that he had taken must have torn all the good left in his soul to shreds.

His nightmares were proof of that. The constant screaming and blood. The begging and bullets. The bodies. All the bodies. Piling and piling and piling. So many. So many bodies. Too many, Too many bodies. Bodies, and bodies and blood and blood and-

"Bucky! Wake up! Wake up babe!"

Bucky sat bolt upright and abruptly stopped screaming. he shakily lifted his hand to his face and felt tears streaming down his face. 

He let out a muffled sob and sank into Steve. Steve rubbed his back and murmured softly.

"It's okay Bucky, let it out, it's okay."

Bucky pushed Steve away and sat rocking back and forth.

"No it's not, it'll never be okay again. I'm too broken. Too worthless. I'm the winter solider. Nothing more. All the bodies. All the blood. I can't get it off Stevie! There's too much! Too much blood! Too many bodies!

Steve didn't know what overtook him that moment. Maybe it was the way Bucky looked, so lost and alone. Maybe it was what he said. Maybe Steve had just been denying it for too long. He didn't know. And frankly he didn't care. All he knew that he had suddenly launched himself at Bucky and their noses were touching.

"Buck?"

"Don't call me that, Bucky Barnes died on that train." He snapped.

"No, he didn't!"

"Yes, he did!"

"Bucky did not die"

Yes he did, its just the Winter Solider now."

"You did not die Bucky!"

"I'm not Bucky!"

"Bucky, can I kiss you?

"I just said don't- wait, what?'

Steve took a deep breath. Oh,well lets just go for it. After all he's already heard you say it.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure, cause I don't want to force you-mpmh!"

Steve was cut off by Buckys lips on his. He responded immediately, moving their lips into perfect synchronization.

 He felt Buckys tongue swipe along his bottom lip and parted his lips allowing his tongue to explore his mouth. 

He slipped his tongue into Buckys mouth, running his tongue behind his teeth and causing a delighted shiver to run down Buckys spine. Eventually they had to pull away for air.

"Bucky, you are not worthless. You are not the Winter Solider. You are not a monster. And you are not broken. You are James Buchanan Barnes. And you are mine."

"........ I enjoyed kissing you, Stevie." Bucky mumbled blushing.

Steve let out a chuckle.

"We could do it again, if you'd like?"

Bucky responded by pulling Steve closer and reattaching their lips together. This resulted in a make out session that lasted awhile. They eventually pulled apart, both breathing heavily. Bucky glanced at the clock.

"You'll miss your run if you don't leave now."

"Screw my run."

"But what about Sam?"

Steve grabbed his phone and texted Sam.

"There we go. Now thats sorted... Bucky how long have you been having these nightmares?"

Bucky sighed, running his hands though his hair and tugging. Steve gently pulled Buckys hands away and took them in his own.

"Please, buck?"

"Okay they began......"

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Ack! I know, I know I'm late, sorry!!! Hopefully the kiss made up for it? Goodbye silver nuggets!!!