4:27am

Chapter 18

I have no self control. Here's the chapter early! Would really really appreciate your feedback for the question at the end!😘

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Bucky's breath began evening out as his tears slowed down. He slowly unfurled himself and softly sobbed, reaching for his knife.

He thought he heard the sound of footsteps and paused. Listening carefully, he realized it was just a succession of falling leaves. Sighing in relief, he picked up the knife.

Last words are over-rated. Bucky knew that. Hell, he'd heard enough of them to know. Besides, no one would care about his anyway. I mean, The Winter Soldiers last words? People would be rejoicing in his death, not mourning it.

His metal arm was slick with rain, and was catching the street's light, distorting his reflection. He let out a hollow, fake laugh.

His reflection was as screwed up as him.

He readjusted his grip on the knife and lined up the blade, so it was vertical above his wrist.

The tip of the blade broke the skin first, and plunged deep, blood spilling from the spilt in the skin.

He dragged the blade up his inner forearm, blood spilling into the grass. Rain, tears and blood mixed. Bucky went deeper. And deeper.

Pulling the blade from his arm, he placed it horizontally on the same arm and repeated the same process. Blood was everywhere, and Bucky couldn't tell if it was raindrops or tears from his silent sobs landing on his cuts.

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES, I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU TAKE YOUR LIFE, PUT THE BLADE DOWN!"

Bucky's head shot up and he saw Steve running toward him, completely soaked.

"I'm sorry Stevie." Bucky choked out.

Steve dropped down and began wrapping Bucky's arms with bandages.

"You've got nothing to apologize for. I said some awful, poisonous toxic things. But I didn't mean any of it. Not one thing.

You are the love of my life. Nobody compares to you. You are not The Winter Solider, you're Bucky. My Bucky.

I love the way you protect me. Love the way you care, and never stop caring.

I love the way you smile, and your eyes crinkle up and shine when you're happy beyond belief.

I love the way you roll your eyes, bite your lip, and run your hands through your hair.

I love your metal arm. I love how it catches the light, or how the rain makes it sparkle. I love how the ice makes it almost holographic, and how the snow makes it glitter.

You are my sun, moon stars, and life force.

Love can't describe what we have, its not a strong enough word.

I need you. I need your laughter, smile, hugs and kisses.

I need your sass, sarcasm, food, you make damn good food, and love.

I need the way your eyes go dreamy when you daydream, or the way your eyebrows furrow when you concentrate.

I need the way you pupils dilate when.... well you know when.

I need the way you look when you wear my underwear, or the way you take you coffee, bitter as hell.

I need the way I can't stop laughing when you make fun of something. I need YOU.

You give me everything, and never ask for anything. I am so damn sorry for everything I did wrong.

And yes Bucky. I will marry you. A thousand times yes. If you'll still have me. Please forgive me Bucky. I don't know what I'll do without you."

"I forgive you. How can I not? I heard you, y'know? When you were with Natasha and explaining it all."

And when you were crying and screaming to yourself. You dont know how much self-control I used to stop myself for running out and hugging you. But I thought it would just anger you.

I love you too Stevie. And of course I still want to marry you." Bucky said weakly, burying his head in the crook of Steve's neck.

Steve scooped Bucky up in his arms and stood up.

"C'mon, lets get you to the hospital."

"No! No hospital." Bucky pleaded. Steve gave in at the sight of Bucky's shaking form.

"Alright I'll patch you up. Let get you some food and water." Steve smiled down at Bucky.

"M'kay.' Bucky slurred.

"No,no,no you gotta stay awake Bucky cmon, stay awake for me. Just for me. Please."

It was the crack of Steve's voice in the last word that forced Bucky to open his eyes and keep them open. He looked at the clock in the window and tugged on Steves sleeve.

"Look. 4:27am"

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All better now? Yeah? *Gives you all hugs, and your choice of hot chocolate, tea, or coffee." This book's coming to end, *cries* but don't worry, I'm still writing my one shots, and I might make another Stucky story if you guys want? Or a sequel? Comment your thoughts on the chapter and a sequel or different book! Goodbye silver nuggets 👋🏻