My dearest Butler

Chapter 1

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I sit on my cold throne and stare at the door, hoping he will just come back and love me. But he won't. He is dead and he will never come back.

People would think that after all this time I would've moved on. Normal people would move on after one or two years, I guess. But humans have to move on, they only have limited time on this planet so they couldn't possibly hold on to something that is gone for 10 years, 20 years or even longer than that. I on the other hand am a witch, a strix. A vampire and the queen of all the undead and witches.

I live forever and all I have is time. So how am I supposed to just get over it?

I feel empty inside, dead inside. I haven't felt anything but pain ever since Luc killed my beloved mate.

I've lost track of time a while ago. I would just wake up in the morning, go and sit on my throne, do my work, eat every once in a while and go back to sleep. Even though I'm alive, I'm clearly not. I'm like a zombie and just do what I have to do in order to survive.

They say time heals all the wounds, I guess it's somewhat true. I remember the first ten years after he left me very well...

I sit on the floor of our room with a urn on my lap. I wrap my arms tight around the vessel that contains his ashes and start rocking back and forth again.

The tears have long stopped to flow. Seems like I'm all empty now.

Void of any emotion I rock back and forth, back and forth back and forth. Every once in a while I am able to forget what happened and just think nothing at all. Those tiny moments are like heaven. But of course it all comes back and my heart starts hurting again. So hard that I wish I would just die.

But it seems like I can't even do that.

I look at the opened letter that still lies on the floor in front of me.

He wants me to stay alive.

"Your Highness." A man next to me says.