My dearest Butler

Chapter 4

dedicated to goodwitchgonebad for being amazing and being one of the first to comment and all

thank you<3

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"Say that again." I say, daring her to lie again.

"John is not your mate. He never was and never will be." She tells me while continuing to smirk at me.

It can't be. He was my mate, she is just lying to make me stop thinking about him. She wants me to forget about him. John is my mate. I love him. He loved me. No one could make people think they are mates, we met with me being two different people and we fell in love, what we felt and what we had was special. It wasn't fake. She clearly is lying. She has to be.

I blankly stare at her, not wanting to show the effect her words have on me. "Yeah sure. And I am the subordinate of the Luna." I let out a laugh before turning serious again. "This is my last warning, you better tell me the truth now or you will die."

"It is the truth."

"Tell me that story of yours then."

"The reason is simple, your highness. We had to unite the most powerful houses in order to be truly safe. The witches, strix and undead combined would be too powerful for anyone to attack or question successfully. I made a deal with a vampire at that time, that I would make the head of the strix and the head of the vampires marry each other and unite their kingdoms."

"Nice story." I admit. "But why John and not Ludwig? He was the king before John after all."

"He was too weak. Also that vampire who told me to do it had personal reasons not to choose Ludwig."

"I see. Well is the only reason for your visit to insult me, calling me weak and telling me that I've been living a lie for half a century and my past life?"

"Your people are sensing your weakness and you should watch out for that. You should punish people harder for misbehaving and you should marry again. I will not force you into anything nor will I make you fall for anyone unless you ask me to but my personal recommendation would be to marry the Alfa of the pack. That way you would gather almost all supernatural beings in one empire and those who are left have to either join us or stay silent. No one would dare to attack you-"

"Enough." I lift my hand again and control the urge to kill her. "I will think about what you've said. You can go now."

Once they are out I make a list with those who have to be punished and write down their punishments. "Punish them harder." I laugh out. "Sure. Shall I burn them? Hang them? Even if their crime was just stealing one apple? Sure, I'll do that. Not. I am the queen after all and I am not some kind of monster." I mutter to myself.

I get up and head back to my room. "Marry a wolf." I cringe at that thought. "Life couldn't be more ironic, could it?" Memories of the wolf killing John come back, flashing through my mind.

I know it's wrong to take judge all of them based on the actions of one individual but I can't help it. I don't hate wolves. I just don't want to marry one.

I throw myself on my bed and try to ignore my thoughts. They are just to annoying and unbearable. I wonder if that's the real reason for intelligent life not to become too old or truly live forever. The own thoughts and the own conscious that is eating you up. But maybe it's just me.

Maybe I really am weak.

I take out John's letter and read the last sentence again.

I'm sorry.

I read the words over and over again, trying to make sense of it.

Is he sorry for leaving me? For making me a vampire without telling me? For making me fall for him even if he isn't my mate?

Is he my mate or not? If not, did he know? Was it his plan to become not only king of the undead but also of the witches? If he really was that psychopath I thought he was before I came to 'know' him, it would be possible.

But how could all of that be his acting?

How could every 'I love you' every kiss and hug be a lie? How?

It's not like he has been nice to me all the time. I was even scared of him and only after a while he started caring about me. Just like I started to care about him. It can't be a lie. It has to be real.

Maybe she really just said that to control me. She did suggest for me to marry someone else after all. Maybe she just lied, she has to be.

I storm out of the house and run back to the place where he died.

"It can't be a lie." I whisper to myself while trying my best to hold back the tears. "You can't be a lie."

I drop down to my knees at the pain in my heart. I touch the ground and remember how he lied in my arms.

He wanted me to live, to be happy and to forget about him. He said all those things because he knew I couldn't. He tried to make it easier for me to live on without him.

Because that's who he was.

He cared more about me than about himself. It can't be a lie, it can't.

It can't be true that every person I ever cared about just betrayed me and lied to me.

My auntie who brought me to my abusive 'mother' in the first place, Victoria who told people lies about me so Luc would love her and not me, Mary... Who knows why she saved me, Lu who hid the truth from me and got himself killed because he lied to me. He said he would tell John everything but he didn't. That's why John killed him. And John... who isn't even my mate.

I can't take this anymore. I have to shut my own thoughts even if it's just for a while, I can't take it anymore I just can't.

I get up again and walk towards the edge of the cliff. I turn around, just like I did back when I was human. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I open my eyes and see Sebastian standing there. He stares at me with wide eyes and tries to catch me.

"Your highness!" He cries out.

I feel myself falling as I watch how our hands barely miss each other.

"Stupid human." I mutter to myself with a small smile before blackness surrounds me.
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Hey:)

So, chapter 4 is ready for you~
And yes, it's a bit early... So just see it as a thank you ^^

I hope you like it:)

Tell me what you think ^^

Love, hugs and kisses,

Yours Mel<3

Lol... somehow it didn't show up or anything and in fact I updatd it around 2pm... but something went wrong. sorry.