Dark Paradise//J.M.

Somebody That I Use To Be

Chapter 17: Somebody That I Use To Be

Jason's POV

The fact that Matthew brought up Victoria brought back memories. I was a terrible person. I still am. I'm a monster. I kill innocent people for a living. What makes me think I can love such a fragile and beautiful person like Vanessa? I could let her go. I can let her return to her family, knowing Mr.Hood could protect her. She doesn't need me.

I'm a psychotic murderer. I'm the most wanted man in the United States. I kill. I rob. I kidnap. I don't deserve her. I killed Victoria. She's not the only person.

I shook the thoughts of regret. As long as I do what I have to do, I'll be kept under control...

Vanessa's POV

I was wondering what Jason and Matthew we're doing downstairs. I also couldn't help but wonder what was downstairs. I shrugged off the thoughts and continued watching tv as I laid down on the couch in the living room. Matthew came up from whatever was downstairs, I only caught a quick glimpse and it looked creepy.

"Hey Matt." I smiled.

He seemed surprised.

"Uh hey, Vanessa." He replied, hesitantly.

"Where's Jason?" I asked.

"Downstairs." He shrugged and began walking towards the stairs that lead upstairs.

"Matt, hold on," I began and he paused from walking up the stairs, "what's down there?"

"You don't wanna know," he replies,"and don't go down there."

Why not?

I just simply nodded and he disappeared up the stairs.

My curiosity was killing me. I needed to know what was down there.

After a while, Jason came up.

He took a seat next to me and said, "Hey babygirl."

"Hey Jase." I replied.

He pulled me closer to him, to the point where I was slightly on his lap.

"What'd you guys talk about?" I asked.

I felt him stiffen under me, "Just set up details about what's gonna happen when you and I go to the guest house."

"Jase." I sighed.

"Hm?" He hummed.

"Tell me the tru-" I began to say but before I could finish, I was thrown onto the floor, hitting my head on the coffee table.

"I told you the truth now shut the fuck up stupid bitch!" He yelled and at the moment there was a sharp pain on the side of my face, venom laced in every word.

He slapped me.

I've never seen this side to Jason since that night and it terrified me.

I felt something trickle down my neck and I felt for it, noticing it was blood. Tears began to form in my eyes.

"Holy shit." He whispered under his breath, the anger in his eyes changing to pain.

I was crying and shaking on the floor, scared to anger him again.

"V-Vanessa I'm so s-sorry." He apologized, reaching down for me.

And at that moment, I grew angry.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed at him, making him flinch.

I got up myself and quickly walked up the stairs to go the bathroom.

"Hey Vanessa!" I heard Cameron call.

I ignored him and locked myself into the bathroom. I slid down from the door onto to the floor, sobbing quietly.

He hit me. I never thought he would lay a hand on me.

I felt more and more blood run down my neck.

"Vanessa." I heard a faint voice say on the other side of the door, knocking softly.

I knew it was Jason.

"G-go away." I stuttered.

I stood up off the ground. I caught a glimpse of my face, my cheek was red and I can already see the bruising.

"I want to talk." He whispered against the door.

"There's nothing to talk about." I said back, gently running my fingers over Jason's finger prints on my face.

"P-please," he said, his soft sobs still audible, "I promise to never do it again."

That angered me.

I swung the door open.

"You 'promise'?! You fucking promise, Jason?! What about when I want to ask you a simple question again? Are you going to fucking slap me across the face again? What about when I just want the truth? Are you going to call me a stupid bitch?" I yelled, trying to hold my tears back.

"Vanessa," he sighed, and that's when I finally grew the courage to look him in the eyes. He looked pained, like he was crying. I can't feel bad. I just can't, "please, just listen to me."

I lost it, all my tears came running down my face.

He pulled me into him, even when he scares me the most his arms seem to still make me feel protected.

He lead me into the bedroom, sitting me down on the edge of the bed. He kneeled down in front me on the floor.

"I'm so sorry." He cried, stroking my cheek softly. 

I looked away from him, his hand falling into my lap.

"I've never been able to admit this even though it's the most obvious thing about me," he began, and I looked back at him. His head was hung low, almost as if he was ashamed, "I'm not a perfect person. People seem to discover things like the fact that I have abandonment issues or trust issues before I even do."

"What is telling me going to do about this?" I asked.

"Just hear me out," he replied, "I don't realize these things until I do something to prove it to myself. These things that take over who I am aren't genetic. They're things I've experienced."

"Tell me about them." I whisper.

"I'll tell you in a series of stories. But I need you to promise me, you won't think of me the way everyone else does. Because I don't care about what they think, I care about what you think." He whispers, finally looking up at me. I couldn't get over the look of heartbreak and betrayal in his eyes.

"I-I promise." I stuttered.

Authors note:
Hello Lovely Readers💕

I'm so sorry guys for making you all wait so long for an update! I suck. I really hope you guys like it. Thank you for all the support and for reading this terrible story.

Don't forget to vote and comment!

Love, Ari💖