Dark Paradise//J.M.

Journals

Chapter 21: Journals
Vanessa's POV

June 2, 2008

     It's our first night out here. We had driven from Miami to Vegas for an invasion. We have to take over western territory and expand our gang. Jacob told me that if surviving gang members don't agree to joining, we'd kill them. The thing is... I'd be the one to make the first kill. It was to prove my loyalty. Who would've thought my life could get worse? This was my only choice. It isn't like I never killed someone. It wasn't a new experience. I didn't get caught the 3 times before, I don't seem to know why I'm a bit more worried now. I guess I was better at working alone. Now I'm in a gang with a few more people that I don't know if I can trust. The only person I have here is Alex but it's not like we had a choice. My father left us with Jacob and Mr.Hood. I remember seeing Mr.Hood around our home in Canada a few times but I never got to know the man. There was just something about him though that made me want to be just like him. Was it the power? The intimidation? I couldn't seem to figure it out but I wanted to be exactly like him...

                                                              -J.

He wanted to be like my father? There was always two sides to him that I never got to figure out. But now I see it. He was two different people. Sometimes the loving kind father that I adored and the monster he was around this gang that he would bring home at times. It explains everything. This gang ruined him just like it's ruined Jason. That explains why he moved out. Why he beat my mother. Why he raped the both of us... I understand it all now.

I stopped thinking about my father and continued reading.

June 2, 2008

     I know, I don't usually write twice in a day but I have to get this off my chest. I killed him. I killed the leader of West. I was only supposed to kill a worthless gang member to prove my loyalty but no. I killed the leader. I have never felt so accomplished in my life. Mr. Hood was so proud of me, something I've never experienced. He even considered me being leader of North. It was amazing. It gave me a rush of adrenaline. I gained all of their respect. I have the power now. I run this shit now. Who would've thought that me, Jason McCann,  single handedly murdered the West Leader. It was amazing to blow the dick's head off. I snuck up a few feet away from him and BOOM! Shot off my favorite pistol. Mr.Hood said my aim was valuable to this gang and he's never seen anything like it. He even compared me to a sniper. That was his new nick name for me. He told me that that's leader material. I've never wanted to kill a man more in my life. Seeing the blood rush out of his head gave me a calm feeling, my favorite color spreading across the floor. Now I can get on with my night. The gang and I are going out tonight in celebration of me. They're praising me like the god I am...
                                                            -J.

Power. Praise. Control. Those are the things Jason wanted most. That's what he got. That's what has ruined him. I can tell. Jason wasn't always like this. It's obvious he was once a loving person. Sometimes, it shows. The pain in his eyes when he knows he's done something wrong. But he's learned to hide it because once it appears, it's gone in the blink of an eye. Like my father... He had the most delicate touch when he'd caress my cheek. The softest voice when he'd calm me down. The warmest embrace when I was feeling down. Just like Jason... It's all of a sudden made sense now. I can't even begin to imagine when my dad gets here. Which side will appear? Who's Jason going to be?

I quickly shut the journal and shoved it back in its place. I can't read any more of this. It's too much to take in. Especially right now... So many questions were running through my head. How old was Jason when all of this started? How long has my father been in this gang? Why was I kidnapped by my father's rival gang? Why did they hold me hostage for so long? When did my dad return home? What's been happening at home? Did my mom know about this? I couldn't figure any of this out...

Authors Note

Hello Lovely Readers💕

It's been so so so so long! Ugh I miss writing so much but so much has been going on. It's all so overwhelming but I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I've been trying my best to get longer chapters out. I know this one isn't too long but hopefully it answers some of your questions about previous chapters. If it doesn't, let me know in the comments and I'll try my best to fit in explanations into the story. Thank you guys for all the support and love!

Don't forget to vote and comment!

Love, Ari💞