Dark Paradise//J.M.

Losin Control

Chapter 19: Losin Control

I don't see him any different. I still see him as the Jason I saw before. It didn't affect me. Of course, it scared the crap out of me but it wore away. It was like I was risking my life listening to those stories, unsure of what he would do but it only lasted a few seconds. Now it's gone. I still love him. I still want to see him everyday. I still want to hold him close. I don't want to do anything that doesn't involve Jason. I don't know what it is but it wouldn't go away.

"I love you..." He whispered softly, taking my face in his hands.

"I-I love you too." I replied.

He stood up off the floor and picked me up off the bed. I wrapped my legs around his waist and wrapped my arms around his neck. I stared into his soft caramel brown eyes, full of hidden pain and sorrow. I know he's broken. It seemed that every time we made eye contact, I'd see everything I'm seeing now but once he'd blink, they'd go away. He never expresses how he feels. He never cries. He never lets it all out. He holds everything in and I think that's why I don't see him any different. He's kept everything in and when something becomes too overwhelming or too much, he snaps. He loses control. He becomes a completely different person and he can't do anything about it. I know, it seems like I'm making excuses for his terrible behavior but I see where he's coming from.

"...Vanessa?" He questioned, studying my face and I snapped back into reality.

"Huh?" I replied and he giggled.

"What's on your mind, love?" He asked.

I shook my head and ran my hands through his silky hair.

"How do you do that?" He asked.

I gave him a questioning look, not completely understanding what he meant.

"How can you still love me even after everything that I've told you?" He asked again.

"Because Jason, I see how your past has intertwined with your present and future and you have no control over it. You can't help the person you turn into. You snap into a whole different world and there's nothing you can do about it. I can't do anything to change you either. I have no other choice but to love you for who you are. I can try my best to prevent you from snapping but once it happens, it happens." I explained to him, realizing there were tears running down his cheeks.

"W-We should head downstairs. Get something to eat, you know?" He stuttered, gently putting me down.

"Okay Jase." I giggled and wiped the tears on his face.

I walked towards the door but was pulled back.

"Wait Vanessa." He pleaded.

"Yeah?" I said, turning around.

"Please don't tell anyone." He whispered.

I smiled, "I promise."

He nodded but he seemed unsure. I walked a few steps closer to him, stepping on my tippy toes to peck his lips.

"No one will ever hear of this." I whispered to him reassuringly.

We walked out of the room and down the stairs, all the boys crowded around in the living room watching a fight.

"Bro! Mayweather is kicking his ass!" Alfredo shouted, shoving Ryan off to the side.

"Yeah yeah, shut up." Ryan replied.

"What's going on?" Jason asked.

"Ryan and Fredo bet on the fight. So far, Ryan is getting his ass kicked just as bad as Pacquiao." Asher laughed, making everyone else laugh.

"How much?" Jason asked again.

"5 grand." Taylor replied.

"Ryan you're a fucking idiot." Jason laughed.

"Vanessa, can I talk to you?" Cameron asked.

Jason's jaw tensed up and I felt him pull me closer.

"For what?" Jason questioned him.

"Gabe wanted me to talk to her for him. He can't do it without breaking down." He said.

Jason looked down at me and I gave him a sort of nod, reassuring him his stories were safe with me.

"Yeah, we can talk." I replied.

I got out of Jason's grip and Cameron led the way around the house. I haven't had an entire tour but I already know the place is huge.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Arcade room. It's pretty cool, huh?" He laughed.

"Very cool," I smiled, "but what'd you want to talk about?"

"I saw you run into the bathroom crying," he began to say but I cut him off.

"It was nothing, Cameron." I quickly said.

"You don't have to lie to me Vanessa. This isn't the first time." He said.

What...?

Authors Note

Hello lovely readers💕

I'm sorry that this chapter is so short! I've been trying my absolute best with updating and everything. Hopefully you guys like this chapter! Let me know what you all think in the comments. Thank you guys for all the support!

Don't forget to vote and comment!

Love, Ari