Slipping Through My Fingers

Little Talks

My Dad left for his interview in California early Friday morning. Right now the Smith house is full of anticipation awaiting his return to see what the word is. Riding on this one interview is the decision to either pack up, or stay planted. I'm obviously hoping for the later. I don't even want to imagine leaving. No, it's not just because of Trevor...Idaho is beautiful, some parts of it anyways. It may not sound very supportive, but I hope there's someone more qualified or more impressive than my dad so we can stay, but that's selfish of me. I know he's going to give this interview his all whether we like it or not. I have to give him some sort of credit for that.

Meanwhile I've been chowing down carbs, fruits, and veggies like candy, but trust me it doesn't taste half as good. It's been hard to limit my ice cream intake this year, but once the track season is over I can binge like I just broke up. I click on Pandora and let it play from my TV deciding to pass the time with a sing along dance party while I do the dishes. The only way dishes can be tolerated is with music and I make sure to handle knifes during slow songs. I twirl as I put away plates in the cupboard and slide open the backyard door to let Myrena in to join me. She loves howling and spinning to songs just like me, we're a perfect match. She waggles in the door immediately howls and yips along to what I swear to be her favorite song, Hall of Fame by The Script. She always freaks out when I play it. I watch her pace in circles and wag her little stubby tail without a care in the world. Myrena is so adorable, I love her so much. I give her some loving rubs and pets before washing my hands and getting back to work. Michael stumbles down the steps. I shout above the music, "You okay bro?"

"Yeah fine!" He calls back and skips over my way. "What ya doing?" making sure to pet Myrena as she trots around him.

"Dishes and dancing, what have you been up to? Doing your homework I hope?" Giving him a playful warning glance.

"Umm..." turning away to the pantry to grab a fruit snack.

"Michael, you know you gotta read 30 minutes a day, you just got some new books right?"

"Yeah, but I don't like reading in my head." he grumbles, popping some of the snacks in his mouth.

"Who says at home you have to? Act it out if you want, be the superstar or-"

"Dinosaur! That's what I'm reading about right now, is dinosaurs, roooaaar!" and he ferociously gnaws on the gummies.

"Exactly, now get started so Dad can be happy for you when he gets home."

"Do you think he'll make us move?" his question catches me off guard and I decide to turn down the music.

"I really don't know-" the rumble of the car garage shakes. "Looks like we're about to find out." I smile at him, hiding my dread.

"Hey kiddos! I'm home!" Michael runs towards Dad. He picks Michael up, giving him a big hug. "It's only been two days!"

"Almost three." I say with a smirk walking up to give him a hug as well.

"Where's the rest of the family? Still at work?" my dad looks around heading into the kitchen for some nice cool ice water.

"They should be on their way back right now actually." I plop on the couch, patting my legs so Myrena knows I'll allow her up, she licks my nose before curling by my side and I stroke her luscious spotted fur allowing myself to relax.

"Dad! Dad! Did you get the job?" Michael hops around him eager for his reply.

"I think I'll wait for everyone to get home before I decide to relay any information, you'll have to sit tight until then." Michael releases a big impatient sigh. "Unless you want to pass the time by helping me get my bags out of the car."

"Okay!" Michael leaps out into the garage, my dad close behind him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dad clasps his hands together trying to get us more engaged. "I have gathered you all here to today to discuss how my interview went and our next steps."

Josh rolls his eyes, "Oh great, here it comes, you might as well just say we're moving." My dad shoots him a stern look before continuing to be upbeat.

"They gave me a tour of the work building, it's all really nice, the staff is friendly, and I really did my best to impress of course. They interviewed me, asked good questions and in short they are really considering me for the job. There's still one more guy they are going to interview, but if he doesn't impress them as much as I did then I will most likely be getting the job." He breathes, awaiting our responses.

"That's great honey! Isn't that great guys?" Mom pipes up, glancing at us like we should be excited as well.

Josh shifts, "So basically we are moving, great, how wonderful." and rolls up from the couch to leave. I tug on his sleeve nodding towards Dad. "Good for you Dad." he states evenly, then heads upstairs to his room leaving the rest of us to decide how to feel. I'm still rooting for staying, hoping with all my heart that somehow moving to California is erased from my possible future, but knowing my dad's perseverance, my hope is most likely doomed.

Michael squirms off the couch, "Good job Dad!"

"Thanks bud." He smiles. "What are you thinking Codi? You haven't said anything."

I rub my lips together and shrug, playing with Myrena's soft ears. She looks up at me with eyes the same color as mine, reflecting concern. I'm strongly against moving. I love this house, this place, and the people. I'd be starting my freshman year of high school in a brand new school if we moved. I wouldn't know anyone. Making new friends would be an awkward experience. I glance up to see my parent's still staring at me and I wanted to be like, 'What? Do I have a bug on my face or something?' But instead softly reply, "I'm not sure yet. Can I take Myrena out for a little walk?" They nod knowing I just want to be outside in the forest air with my thoughts. I get up and slide open the door to the backyard letting Myrena slip past me. Once I close the door I take in a deep breath and let out a huge puff of air, groaning. Moving is only a possibility, but right now I feel as if it's already a done deal as I overhear my parents discussing houses and realtors through an open window. I walk further into my forested backyard, so senseless, so numb, so...lost? I don't know what to think. My thoughts and mind are swirling trying to figure out the correct emotion I should be feeling right now but to no avail. I'm not sure if I should, or even could tell Trevor about the possible move. I can't leave my best friend, not now. We are going to high school together.