Slipping Through My Fingers

Now What?

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been avoiding Brier all day. Biology was really awkward, but I made sure to arrive right before the bell rang and to avoid where he'd walk in the halls so he wouldn't have time to talk to me. I embarrassingly dashed into the restroom right as class ended. Pretty impressive stuff for sure. I regret to say I stayed in the bathroom most of lunch...yeah that was not very great, but I knew Brier was going to try to find me. I was also being a coward. I did my hair in all sorts of styles I never otherwise would've had time to try, so it wasn't all bad. Okay, it was. That surely proves how pathetically scared I am to face Brier again. I still don't know how I feel about him, nor do I know the words to say. Every time I see him my heart jumps in nerves. I feel like I don't know him, not that I ever did really anyways. Why won't he just move on from me or break my heart already...I feel like that would be easier than him leading me on, pretending to care about me, confusing the heck outta me since I can't tell if he's sincere or not! The question, 'What if he actually does care?' is the only thing that makes me inquire the best way to deal with Brier. Ugh, this has been a crappy day. I don't like Trevor being in the hospital. I can only imagine how bored he is staring blankly at the white walls, or maybe he's resting or, knowing Trevor, he probably asked for a coloring book. No worries Codi, he should be out of that prison by tonight. He'll be all better and we'll go to school and he'll help me figure out a better way to deal with Brier than just hiding from him. If he knew I hid in the bathroom most of lunch he'd be shaking his head saying, "Shame Codi, you're braver than that." I rest my head on my arm looking at my drawing of two hands in the shape of a heart. I really need to work on my sharp shading, it looks too soft. I sigh and close my eyes. I still have track practice after school. I'm going to state, it's gunna be awesome right? I just wish my best friend was going there with me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Aaah!" I squeal as someone pokes me in the sides. I whirl around flustered. "Trevor! What are you doing here?" I breathe in shock as I take in his sunken eyes and dreary face.

"Hey C," He smirks.

"You didn't escape from the hospital did you? Why are you here? Art's not that important!"

"It's important if you are here." He plops in the seat next to mine and stares right at my face. Blank expression.

"Trev, are you okay? Well, obviously you're not, what are you doing here? You didn't sneak away right?"

His head immediately goes down and he shakes it from side to side, then timidly looks back up at me, with a small grin. "Nope."

"Honest?"

"As honest as a lawyer." His bittersweet one sided grin doesn't convince me as he leans over the table with his head resting in his folded arms. I'm not sure if his statement of being honest as a lawyer is supposed to be taken sarcastically or not.

"Hey." I start, mustering up the right words to say, but there doesn't seem to be any. After a bit of silence he moves uncomfortably.

"I just, really don't like you having to see me all miserable in the hospital..."

"Is school really that much better?" I tease.

He shifts his head to look at me. "It is if you're here. You're my best bud, do you know how awful it is just lying there for hours not having you there to talk to...and I haven't even been there for a full day yet! But don't worry, they let me go. I persuaded my mom to take me to school right after so you know, here I am!" He closes both eyes and smiles.

"You're crazy."

"I know." He opens his eyes and sits up. "You wanna know something?

I smile. "What?"