Slipping Through My Fingers

Trouble

Have you ever felt like the bad guy? Everyone looking on you with disdain or glancing your way with dismissal as if you disgust them. With their glances they almost dare you to make a move, to slip up, to give them one more reason to despise you? For me, today was that day. Rude comments about being with other guys were spat my way, accompanied with rough shouldering as they'd walk past. This one guy called me pathetic, defenseless, and cowardly and other insults I would rather not mention. I wasn't too effected by anything said to me, just curiously confused about what these people were told, what rumors were already being spread and how they'd began. Mostly though, I was dumbfounded and disappointed that the rumors were so easily accepted without question. It's as if whatever is being said was readily accepted as a truth and all the good things about me were instantly forgotten, only to be replaced by the juicy new details of my lovers' quarrels. Whispers and glances my way in class bugged the heck out of me all day. No one confronted me to ask about what really happened, the only ones who know the truth are Trevor and Brier. Brier...my heart sighs at what could've been as I've seen him pretend like I'm a nobody to him, like I was someone he never wanted to know and no longer will. He was too willing to move on, confirming that I really meant nothing to him. A song on the radio late last night brought me to tears. In my bed I tried to quietly hold in my sobs as Gotye's broken brushed voice enunciated my emotions...But you didn't have to cut me off, make out like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough, no you didn't have to stoop so low...Now you're just somebody that I used to know, somebody...Now Brier is just somebody that I used to know.

I see Trevor walking into art class and I grin as he gives one of his friends a high five, and his friend eyes me and points my way. Trevor turns around with a smile as he watches me walk towards class. He meets up with me after waving his friend goodbye. "Hey Codi, what's up?" He asks, putting an arm around my shoulders playfully as we walk into class. "Oh you know, the usual I guess, just awkward a little."

"You holding up okay though?" and we slide into our seats. Trevor angles his chair towards mine.

"Yeah mostly, have you heard anything about, you know, what people are saying?"

"Um, so far what I think is going around is you had an "affair" or something with Justin which is why he's kinda changed and Brier got upset at you for that since you were "going out" and then apparently you and I did something that Brier beat me up for, but since you chose me, Brier just gave up and is apparently super hurt, I don't know, there's a lot of different versions but that's the main plot line. I've been trying to clear up every rumor I hear though, but some people don't want to listen."

"Really? People actually believe that stuff about me? They really think I'm like that? I mean honestly come on! Ugh, idiots...what are your thoughts about all this, are you offended that Brier apparently 'beat you up'?"

"Nah, I mean he knows I can take him, and if I had to prove myself he'd be screwed, he just wants to seem like a tough guy."

"How do you think the rumors started?"

"Obviously it kinda began when you and Justin were called to the office at the same time and then I guess they noticed something was going on with you and Brier, especially in science, so there was a lot of talk about that. Also, I'm your best friend so of course I had to be involved somehow right? And a few people saw Brier and I behind the gym, and so the in-between pieces were made up. I'm almost positive Brier made up most of it though and probably posted it on Twitter or somethin' where a lot of people read it, knowing his pathological lying, he's a very liable culprit for this rumor uprising. He did it for attention so people would feel sorry for him, it's disgusting."