Modern Day Bonnie And Clyde

31. Growing stronger while breaking apart

Hakeem P.O.V

One week later

It's so heavy.

Guilt.

The feeling that you did something terribly wrong but you can't rewind time.

That's how I feel and I don't think it'll ever go away. I don't know how my parents do it. Especially my dad. He's done so much and I know that for a fact , but I can't possibly grasp the idea of moving on and acting like everything you did doesn't matter.

It's so saddening but I have to live with it. I don't want T to worry anymore, I've put so many of my problems off on her lately and it's slowly tearing her down.

I can tell it's draining all the sanity out of her, little by little. She wakes up in her sleep almost every night, like the memory's of that night are haunting her. She'll jump a little at loud noises or  daze off and relive the past.

The day T was in the hospital I realized how much I've failed her. How I failed to protect her. How I failed to keep myself out of trouble for her. How I failed to keep my twins safe. How I failed as a husband.I know I have to do better because she deserves way better.

My parents took care of the mess with Jeff and made sure there is no evidence to connect us. Mac is in jail and he surprisingly hasn't tried to tell the police why he shot up Empire. It's very suspicious but I don't really care to know his motives.

Cookie wasn't mad at me at all she just threatened to choke me to death if I ever tried something like that again.  Lucious seems like he's still pissed at me but the twin news kind of suppressed the raft that was coming my way.

I haven't slept much this week at all but T's been basically sleep. These babies are really pulling a lot from her,physically.

On a brighter note we shot the first episode of our show yesterday even though it was hard to keep her T awake the whole time.

The doctors told me it's not unusual for  pregnant women to be tired but especially women pregnant with twins so I'm not as worried as I was before.

Tonight T is  forcing me to go to dinner with her mom and sister. It's going to be hell. Her mom hates me and her sister thinks I'm no good for her. T really cares about her moms opinion and now that my family has gotten her shot and almost shot again I don't really have any excuse as to why I can't seem to keep her safe. Plus her being pregnant with twins is adding on to the pile of shit stacked against me.

"Baby" T whispers and I immediately turn to face her.

"Yes princess?"

"I'm awake now ,pay attention to me" she mumbles smiling.

"Oh are you now, well how was your nap?" I question.

"Magical, however I missed seeing your face every second while I was sleep "she says scratching her head.

"And I missed hearing your voice every second you were sleep" I reply admiring her baby bump.

"Aw " T laughs grinning.

"You ready for tonight's dinner?" I ask already knowing her response.

"Of course I haven't seen my mom in almost a year, she missed my wedding, and now I'm pregnant. I hope we can catch up. I just don't want her to start to come for you or some shit. Because you know she doesn't like you, and she's such a grinch when everything's not the way she wants. Plus she doesn't like me being an artist. Even though it makes me happy. I don't know why she despises music so much. It's so annoying listening to her go on and on about how I'm wasting my life . It really is stupid too I mean I do make millions and everyone does love me so I don't know what she's even mad at. It's probably because my sisters a doctor . She always thinks my sister is better because she has a 'normal' job. Like what? Being a doctor is boring compared to my job. But for some reason she's still better. You think my sisters better? - yea well I know she is, I'm just a stupid, fat singer, with a dumb job " she says in one breath then starts to cry. My eyes widen as I watch her emotions shift back and fourth. I blink a few times before answering.