Choice (Casifer/Lucifer!Cas x Reader)

Chapter 8 - Empathy?

(F/N) raised her eyebrows and bit her bottom lip in defeat. She felt that no matter how much she could try, she couldn't adapt to this if he was going to be so defensive.

"Well, I'm just trying to get to know you since I'm stuck here with you, but okay. Screw you, too, bastard," she retorted, sitting up in bed. She sat at the edge with her back towards him.

"Well, someone's mother didn't teach her proper manners..." Lucifer teased.

(F/N) felt anger rise all throughout her body. She snapped around and slapped Lucifer hard across the face.

"My mother died when I was four years old. I barely had a chance to get to know her, let alone have her teach me 'proper' manners," (F/N) breathed heavily, glaring at him with loath.

Lucifer held his cheek as it stung in pain. He expected himself to be witty and sarcastic at her, but he felt like a dagger dug into his chest. He felt horrible for what he said. He felt... empathy? This was new.

He just gaped at her, at a loss for words. He took a moment to think about what she said about just trying to get to know him.

He felt even worse. He was so afraid of showing his emotions towards his father forsaking him, but after (F/N) had told him about her mother, he felt like he owed her an apology. He had never had to say sorry to anyone before. 

(F/N)'s glare softened a bit. She was anticipating something rude coming from him.

"I-I... apologize. I did not know that. I am sorry for your loss," he stuttered, gazing into her eyes with guilt.

(F/N)'s mouth fell slightly ajar. Not what she expected, at all. Perhaps trying to get used to this wasn't so hopeless.

"It's... alright. I forgive you, I guess..." was all she could muster. She'd wondered if he's ever apologized to anyone before, for anything. Probably not. 

"How did it happen?" He asked, now sitting across from her. Without his knowledge, he'd taken her hands into his. 

She didn't really notice either. She was just disoriented yet amazed by the fact that she was having an emotional conversation with Satan.

"She uh, she had a bad brain tumor. By the time they found it, it was too late to treat. She was gone 4 months after we found out. My dad didn't bullshit me and tell me she was an angel and had gone to Heaven. He told me the truth. She died, and wasn't coming back. But, he told me she loved me, even though she was gone now. That's all that mattered to me," (F/N) told him, her voice breaking a bit. 

She hadn't cried about this in a long time. The last time she cried about it was when she found an old picture book with just photos of her and her mom 8 months ago. She had gone through it with Mark and she just sat in his lap, crying and laughing at the memories.

"Well, I don't know if it helps, but she probably is in Heaven. I mean, now that you know angels and demons exist..." 

"You know, it kind of does help, knowing she's in a nice place," (F/N) said. "I'm still an Atheist though," she chuckled.

Lucifer grinned. He hadn't genuinely smiled in a while. (F/N) seemed to be changing him, in many ways. And maybe for the better.

"Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you about my father. This is new to me, talking about... feelings. I've never talked about it with anyone, at least in this way," Lucifer got serious, furrowing his brows. 

"I figured. I mean, what happened to you is one of the oldest and most intense stories about a parent kicking out their child. A lot of people have it wrong, because of the damn bible. They think you're a giant goat monster with red horns who breathes fire, who hates God and steals people to Hell. I didn't really think about it, considering religion was never my thing. But now I know you're just a struggling soul just like the rest of us," (F/N) told him sincerely, smiling slightly.

Lucifer had no words for this. This girl, who he stole from her normal life, to a life of danger and confusion, is being nice to him, and trying to understand him. He'd never had that before. Especially with someone he'd done wrong to.

"Like I said, since I'm stuck here, I'm just trying to get to know you more, to understand you. It makes it easier for us both," (F/N) said. She now realized Lucifer had been holding her hands. She gave them a tight squeeze. 

She felt a lot of hate she had for him go away. She didn't necessarily love the man, but she was growing to understand and kind of actually like him.

"I know. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but I will. You're changing me, (F/N). And it's scaring me a bit, admittedly," Lucifer confessed.

"Well, all in good time. That's all we have, right?" (F/N) sighed.

Lucifer nodded, agreeing.

"Hey, I had a question about something," she spoke up. "What's the Darkness?"

Lucifer was afraid of her asking that. He was afraid he might slip up about his plan to use her to defeat the Darkness. Now he was feeling bad about that plan.

"Well, it's a long story, but like you said, we've got time..." He started off.

-With Dean, Sam, and Mark, in Seattle, Washington-

"Okay, Space Needle, here we come. It should be two more rights, Dean," Sam said, looking at the Seattle tourist map.

"Let's just hope that Mildred is still there," Dean added in. 

Mark sat in the back, anxious to find this woman, so that he could find (F/N). He just wanted this to be over. Normally, in times of stress, he'd let his fans know he'll be gone awhile, but he didn't have time to do that right now. Every second would be dedicated to bringing (F/N) home safely.