CHAOTIC.

Once in a nightmare time

Once in a nightmare-time
I saw him kneeling down, on his knees
With a tight grip he smiled
Dimple-less cheeks
And brown eyes
He wasn't you
But he held me tight.

It was a nightmare and a phobia
When i didn't feel like craving his touch
To see his eyes light up with excitement
He didn't wish if he could fly.

I told my mother once
I was a victim of love
I wanted the beauty of it and the sorrow
I am young with big dreams in my head
And my heart is as hollow
As the untouched space in my bed

He held me tight
In a nightmare time
Patted my shoulder twice and went back to his dreams
He didn't bring me coffee, i didn't lean into his touch
His father taught him tongue of lies
His mother didn't teach him how to spray flowers into the crowds
He wasn't you, he didn't smile to strangers
He wasn't as soft as silk, as sweet as petals thrown into honey
He wasn't you, he didn't play his favorite John Mayer songs, at midnight in his car, with his voice louder than the thunderstorms outside the windows.
He wasn't you, I didn't watch him from the corners of my eyes, and wished i could photograph his every movement, paint the hell out of his sorrows.

He wasn't you so i cried
When he kneeled down
And the claps were trying to grow louder
Than your voice mixed with a frown
Telling me it's fine
Life is unfair anyway
That you will never have your eternal love
That we unfortunately can't break the laws
And the loud noise of the music,

which holds our futures behind.

He wasn't you
So i cried
Rainstorms at midnight, knocking at your car windows
When you were crying out your John Mayer songs
I could never hear you, you could never hear me
Life is unfair anyway
We can't break the laws.