The Lion and the Llama (Phanfiction)

Chapter Nine

Phil’s POV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although I was unconscious, I still knew what was going on. Right from when darkness took over, right up to the moment when I was in the hospital, waking up to Dan right next to me. I could hear Dan next to me panicking as he rang 999, crying as he spoke to the person on the other end of the line, telling them what’s wrong. I could hear him when he said I was his boyfriend... Did he really feel that way towards me? I could hear him telling me everything was going to be okay and the paramedics were coming. I could hear him run to the door to let them in, and Dan telling them what happened and where I was. I could hear gasps as they came in, seeing me lying on the floor, unconscious. I could hear everyone as I was put on a stretcher and out of the flat. I could hear the sirens as we were driven to the hospital. I could hear Dan telling me I was going to be okay and that I wasn’t going to die. I could hear everyone talking as I was rushed into a small room in the hospital, probably A+E, and doctors telling each other what happened and what everyone should do. I could hear rustling as doctors and nurses getting things, I don’t know what though. I could hear silence as I was left alone for a while as doctors were gathering things from other rooms. I could hear the heart monitor beeping steadily in the background, more hushed voices. I could hear them allowing Dan in, lending him a chair next to my bed. I could hear him crying as he grasped my hand, hopeful for movement. I desperately wanted to squeeze his hand back, assuring him everything was okay. I wanted him to stop crying; I can’t handle people crying over me, I just never get used to the feeling, probably because it usually never happens, but because this was my fault. I shouldn’t have cut myself, especially like that, causing me to pass out.

Hours later, I still wasn’t able to wake up. All my senses were aware what was going around me, but my sight. All I could see was darkness. We all have times of darkness, whether we’re asleep, passed out, or passed away. Darkness is the worst type of pain, because you never know when you’re going to wake up, when the pain will stop, when you can finally see daylight and the people you love.

I could hear Dan saying all the things he loved about me.

“Please wake up Phil, please, I never meant to leave, I just thought I’d made things awkward and that you needed space, I’m so, so, so sorry for everything... If you don’t wake up, just please, know that I love you more than anything else in the world. More than mum, dad, my dog, our friends, everything on earth can’t compete with how much I love you. I love your raspy voice first thing in the morning, I love your crazy beautiful bed head that I don’t see often because you always brush it before I get to see you, I love your laugh and how you always stick your tongue out the side of your mouth, I love the fact that we love practically all the same things, but most of all, I love you.”

I heard him pause as the heart monitor started beeping frantically, then carry on;

“The only thing I hate is that you’ve kept this a secret from me. During the summer after we first met, I just couldn’t understand why you always wore jumpers, even though it was boiling outside, I just wish you’d told me because I hate it when you keep things from me. Just please, never do it again, I won’t be able to handle it, especially if you end up here again, I’d just break...”