terrible things - ashton irwin

eleven

Ready for the longest chapter of your life?? Song for this chapter is going to be Hey, soul sister by Train classic but I'm loving it at the moment so why the hell not :)

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I stared into the darkness for a long time, feeling the contrast between the cold, hard ground beneath me and the soft warmth of Ashton beside me. Thoughts raced through my mind endlessly: What if Ashton and I get caught? Or if we chicken out and go back home? Or if we keep on and each night lie side by side, chaste as children? If we kiss? If we whisper the word love, or if it remains unsaid forever?

It would probably only matter to me. I didn't know if it would matter to Ashton. I tentatively put my head on his shoulder, but he didn't move a muscle.

When I finally slept, I dreamed we were on the edge of a cliff, peering down. Dream- Ashton was holding my hand. "Don't worry," he said. "It only looks like a cliff. It's actually a mountain, and the way is up, not down."

Even in dreams, he was an optimist.

By the time Ashton stumbled out of the tent the next morning, looking rumbled and adorable, I'd packed our bags and plotted our route to Bolinas, a tiny town nestled between the California hills and the Pacific Ocean. I wanted to see it mostly because the town is supposed to be a secret. The people who live there are always tearing down the road signs that point to it. But that wasn't going to stop me from discovering what the big deal was about this place.

"Maybe," Ashton said teasingly as he mounted the bike, "buried deep inside the Good Girl, there was a Bad one."

"All Good Girls are Bad Girls they just haven't been caught yet. And anyway haven't I proven that to you by suggesting this crazy trip?" I climbed up behind him and commanded, "Now, drive."

Naturally, we missed our turn the first time, but when we finally got there, we were a little mystified.

"This is what they want to keep to them selves?" Ashton asked.

The downtown consisted of two intersecting streets. There was a restaurant called the coast cafe, which funnily enough did not over look the coast, and an old fashioned bar. I had to agree: Bolinas didn't seem particularly inspiring.

But the adjacent beach was beautiful. We kicked out shoes off and sat down in the sand, staring at the blue water and feeling the sun on our shoulders. Ashton started digging his toes in the sand, and more than once I caught him looking at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

"So...what are you thinking about?" I finally asked. I hope he didn't detect the slight edge of apprehension in my question. 

"Corn dogs," Ashton answered with out missing a beat.

Sometimes I could just kill him.

He could have been thinking about me, about us, but instead his mind had settled on wieners encased in corn batter.

We ducked into Smiley's Schooner Saloon, and Ashton walked up to the bar like it was the counter at John's. 

"Good afternoon, sir," he said. "Two Rainiers, please, and a corn dog."

I swear if Ashton ever had to pick a last meal, it'd be corn dogs, French Fries, and a deep fried Twinkie.

"ID?" The bartender said.

Robinson fished out his wallet. The bartender's eyes dared from Ashton's fake license to Ashton's face and back again.

"Okay... Robinson Dixon." Then he turned to me.