terrible things - ashton irwin

twenty five

There's an old saying about how only guilty sleep well in jail. The innocent man stays awake all night, freaking out, while the guilty one sleeps like a baby. He figured he's finally where he belongs.

Ashton and I weren't in jail, of course, we were on a Greyhound. But it was uncomfortable and smelly and confined, the way I imagined jail to be. And we hadn't been on the bus more than five minutes before Ashton leaned over, letting his messy brown waves pour onto my lap, and fell asleep.

Guilty, I thought. We're both so guilty.

For a while I stared out the window, watching the flat, dry land go by I still couldn't believe the way things had turned. A few hours ago, Ashton making out with someone else was just about the worst of my problems. Now? Try felony assault, grand theft auto, and who knew what else.

Back in the moment, of course, what we'd done made perfect sense. We'd had to do it. A stolen Porshe, a hijacked gun, and suddenly cuffing and abandoning a cop seemed like a fine idea because, hey, it would keep us out of juvie.

For now, I thought darkly.

Reality came down on me with a crushing weight. what in the world had we done? This was supposed to be a road trip, a lark, and it was turning into a crime spree. What would we do next? Steal a kid's lunch money? Rob a bank?

In the seat ahead of us an old lady was knitting. I could hear her needles sliding and clicking. Every once in a while she'd turn around and smile at me. At first i smiled back, but then I started to get nervous. Was it possible she knew something? Could she read the guilt on my face?

I shook Ashton awake. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and gave me a grumpy look.

"We can never do anything like that again." I said quietly. "Ever."

Ashton ran his had through his tousled hair and sighed.

"I know, Lav. Do you think I wanted it to happend like that? You know that's not me. But we couldn't let him stop us."

His soft eyes, with their heavy lashes, searched my face. He wanted to be sure I knew he's done the only thing he could.

"I don't want this to end," he said. "Not yet. Do you?"

I shook my head. I wanted to go on like this with him forever, except I wanted more kissing and less crime.

"What if we'd-" I began, but Ashton help up a hand.

"There's no point in what-ifs. What's done is done."

"You sound like my mother," I said "Who, I have lately realised, was usually full of shit."

Ashton grinned, then faced forward and said hi to the old lady, who'd turned to look at us again.

"It was total insanity, I admit that," he whispered to me when she turned back around. "But it's over, okay, Lavender? Everything is going to be fine."

Maybe I'm an idiot, actually, I'm definitely an idiot, but hearing him say that made me feel better.

Ashton reached out and brushed a piece of hair from my cheek.

"I never want anything bad to happen to you, Lavender," he said quietly. "And while I have not yet been in one, I suspect that jail is bad."

"You think it's worse than a pediatric cancer ward?" i blurted.

Ashton seemed to pale. Then he laid his head on my lap again.

"I promise," he said, "we'll never do something like that again."

"Pinkie swear," I said, holding out my little finger.

We shook on it.

"And Lav?" He looked up at me from below, his eyes wide and deep enough to drown in.

"What?"

"I'm sorry about Chrissy. Honestly, she came on to me. It took me by surprise. And i didn't want to be rude."

I sighed. Ashton was the only guy in the world who could deliver that line and actually have me believe it.

"Yeah, I know how much you dislike rudeness," I said.

"I do," Ashton said, closing his eyes. His voice grew sleepy again. " Rudeness is so...rude..."

I smiled. And then I rested my head against the greasy bus window and fell asleep.

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word count - 719