terrible things - ashton irwin

fifty one

I opened my eyes to the sound of birds making a loud and unmelodious racket in the big oaks in the backyard. I snuggled closer to Ashton, glad they hadn't woken him up, too. Mable, who'd taken to standing guard outside his room at night, came in when she heard the rustling of blankets, and set at the foot of the bed. She immediately began whining, because she knew I couldn't resist those big brown eyes of hers. In the four days we'd been here. I'd already fed her almost an entire box of treats.

"Hush, Mable," I said. "Be patient."

She wagged her tail and whined more loudly, and when I didn't immediately go in search for the Milk-Bones, she began to bark.

"Quiet," I whispered. Ashton's asleep."

But behind me there was no movement, despite the noise, and a terrible, panicky feeling came over me. I turned to look at Ashton's chest, and I saw that it wasn't rising or falling. He wasn't breathing. And suddenly I was backing out of the bed, my hands clutched to my face.

Mabel began yapping even more loudly, a treat was coming any minute now, she was sure of it, and I didn't bother to shush her because it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I dug my nails into my cheeks, and the tears came out fast and hot. I was gasping for breath, and I couldn't say him name, even though I wanted to scream it out.

Ashton, come back! I'm not ready! I'm completely, totally not ready!

Mabel's barks took to a tone of confusion. I grabbed her by the collar and buried my fave in her warm neck, and I thought, Oh my God, how am I going to tell Ann? How am I going to do anything ever again?

I had a mouthful of Mabel'a hair and she was still barking, but more softly now, dissolving into a pitiful whimper.

It was done. It was over.

And I'd been asleep.

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word count - 325